F I N G E R P R I N T S

It's up to my wife....

2010-07-16T19:08:00.000+08:00

"It's up to my wife.."

A student told me today when I asked them to present in class their future plans. I honestly was taken aback by his response. He wasn't the type of who would let someone decide for him. But there he was telling me this.

Somehow, I wasn't sure that his declaration was for real. When I asked him if the decision to get married was his, he simply said, "I don't have a choice."
I wonder. If I were the fiance and I heard all these, how would it feel like?

On the other hand, will men really dodge the bullets of marriage if they could? Why so? Is marriage only for the weak? I hope not.

Losing the battle.

2010-07-12T08:41:00.002+08:00

I have lost the battle of love. Time and time again, I go back to the same spot. But this time, my battle scars are far from healing. Moping doesn't help in this line. Neither is self-pity.

I don't know what I am to gain from all these but I'd like to think of it as a very important milestone of my life. That I, at the age of 30, finally decided to face the music instead of collecting scraps of love.

I know it's a bit late for some, but as my old friend Sir Jake told me: "Think of it as a 5-year Thesis." I never saw a thesis that could make someone cry like this before! Haha.. Therefore, I'd rather think of it as an experience.

I have loved and I have lost.

Whatever the moral of the whole thing is, I have yet to find out.

Have you ever given up on love?

2010-05-08T08:01:00.003+08:00

I had to pleasure of reviewing what I've written over a month ago at a forum I belonged to. It's really odd to find out that you do have a writer's ability - you just haven't noticed it yet.

Here's my take on the topic - Have you ever given up on love

Humanity's weakness is not knowing what would happen next. Nobody could really tell if you're wrong for each other or if you've found the 'right' one for you.

I could remember way back in high school, we were said to the be 'good friends' so we tried to break-up our dear friend with her boyfriend because he was 'bad company', years after - they're still together and finally getting married. So, were we wrong for trying to break them up?

Similarly, there also came a point in my life where my mom and I tried to keep the relationship of one of my brothers together. Advised him to not leaving her, her to being more patient, etc. They ended up marrying other people. So, was it our fault we felt their love was so true?

I don't think we could ever know what's right for ourselves or for someone. Which is why, after several years with the same love. Regardless the problems and the joys that come our way, I never expect anymore. I have given up to 'planning too much' to 'thinking too much' to being 'paranoid of him finding someone else'. But I have never given up to praying that God will show us both the way. I have given God the authority to tell us if we're for each other or not.

It's simple that way. I need not think too much to becoming overly attached. If he must go, then I can't do anything but to let him go. He knows how much I love him so if he still would like to leave - then it's his choice.

I've given up to immature love. But I'm never giving up to forever - who he may be.

Finance Series: Buying or Renting a Home

2010-04-22T15:55:00.000+08:00

Most of us are faced with the decision on whether to rent a house is better than buying one. Aside from pricing and affordability as a factor to help make us decide, there are different factors too that we should think about.

1. Environment - Remember that the city home may be quiet expensive as compared to the suburbs. The suburbs would give you a lot of fresh air as compared to the city but travel time would be costlier if you live farther from your work. So, which of environment do you best fit in? Do you like the noisy and upbeat feeling of busy streets and people rushing? or do you like the slow-paced life of the suburbs?If you can afford only those properties in environments that do not fit your preferences, you need to think about whether you are willing to forgo these preferences for the sake of owning a place.

2. Amenities versus Customization - There are those who's like to start from scratch with regards their home. They like decorating, they like buying stuff. On the other hand there are those who'd like it plain and simple. They'd like things furnished and ready-to-use. Dollar for dollar, renting generally offers a substantially greater number and variety of amenities than buying. Consider, for example, the number of homes that come with an Olympic-sized swimming pool, clubhouse, tennis courts, basketball court and on-site gym. If you’re looking to have these amenities in your private residence, get ready to spend a lot of money. Upscale apartment buildings, found in nearly every city, offer such options at a comparatively lower monthly rent than a mortgage for a property with the same attributes. On the other side of coin, there are affordable homes with private outdoor spaces that you can customize to your liking. There aren’t many apartment buildings that come with acres of property in the country that will let you do your own landscaping, keep horses or grow a garden.

3. Flexibility versus Stability - Remember that when you rent and need to leave to another city, you could just end the contract, pack everything up and send it to the next home. On the other hand, people who own residents need to go through selling the home, papers, deeds, etc.

4. Personalized Aesthetics versus Less Work - Buying a home gives you the freedom to design your own house, from the living room to the bedroom to the steps of the stairs etc. While renting will show you an already finished house ready to be moved into, no more repairs, renovation or anything. Well, if there would be renovation it wouldn't be more than when you own the place.

5. Emotional Satisfaction versus Less Worry - There’s just something emotionally appealing about putting down roots, getting involved in the community and having a place to call your own. Of course, homeowners also need to worry about the long-term character of the neighborhood and keep up with maintenance in order to sustain property values. If you’re simply looking for a place to rest between days at work and nights hitting the town, renting may be the perfect answer. Just keep paying the rent and let somebody else do all the worrying.

6. A Personal Decision - There will always be a time in your life when you wish to have your own home. The sentimental value of living something for your family will always be something you'd think about. Most especially if you're almost due for retirement and you'd like to see what have you done so far. On the other hand, there are just people who see having a home as a hindrance, mostly those who aren't home buddies and would just rather spend the rest of their old age in homes. But regardless the decision, it will always be your own.

I'm sorry if it's rather long, but I think the topic is vital for all of us out there still confused over buying a home or renting.

What do you think? Should you buy a home or rent it? Based on your personal needs and decisions right now.

Few days to go..

2010-04-12T20:43:00.002+08:00

I know it's pretty much taboo to discuss about one's age, but I am worried. Honestly, for the first time in my life, I have realized that I'm no longer 16. I was reminded when I found a wrinkle near my left-eye, it isn't that obvious yet, but it's well there.

Now, a few days to go and it'll be official. With all the stories of family, weddings, and special dates (not to mention worrying for a friend), I am worried for myself.

Worried that I may never get to do something worth a big WOW. Worrying that I'll forever be the hopeless romantic who even cries for the movie The Princess and the Frog. Sheez, tell me about it. I thought I'm done with the drama, but the Disney Fairy Tales prove it's still there. Haha!

Anyhow, I know I will get through this in one piece. I just really hope I won't be able to show my disappointment when he forgets.

Posting blogs for a living.

2010-03-24T08:07:00.003+08:00

Type "Best Blogs" on your browser search engine and it would open your mind in the world of pure fascination of how people in the internet could write. I have spent my 30minutes today just reading through blogs of ordinary people and day-to-day living but am not bored to reading them. It's amazing how they could convert their routine to something appealing to a reader.

Writing has always been my frustration since I cannot find the mood to write and neither do I think that I'm good at it. I envy those who could just type their thoughts away and with all the jibberish comes out a masterpiece. I have always wanted to be that type of a person - a worthwhile writer. But I guess I need more inspiration and originality to do so.

Therefore, after all the drama this blog has been leading it's past few years, I am ready to practice this writing through this one. I don't care if there isn't a single soul reading through this piece of crap, but I promise I'd be better someday.

The Wife and The Mistress

2009-12-07T16:43:00.000+08:00

I was reading through my other discussions in another site and have read a very interesting response to one of the people who joined in the discussion. He/she was referring to the reasons why men cheat (or try to cheat) which included the constant paranoia of a wife, her unwilling nights and all her other 'failures' which has caused his man to venture out.

The respond reminded me of what a woman I have talked with (of whom the husband was caught cheating). She explained to me that men will never be men, for they will remain as boys. Should a man make his mistress a wife, he would find himself into the same situation he was with his original wife - the same uncaring, paranoid, unwilling, impatient woman.

Mistresses are often interesting, sweet, sexy, appealing and all the positive words any man could sexually conger up. They are so due to the main fact that they have nothing else to worry about apart from being the boy's toy, and could afford to pamper herself up the whole day because all she cares about is herself.

On the other hand, women who become wives are caught in an unending loop of routine and monotonous activities at home (cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and the husband) if she's a housewife, and an employee or a worked plus a mother and a wife if she is working.

So between the two, who do you think the 'boy' wants to go home to? I doubt it'll be the wife who is going nuts on how to juggle up her work with her family - not to mention the emotions and the stress. She can't be expected to function perfectly all the time with the loads of responsibility she is faced with, don't you think? And of course, there will be nights when she will have to say NO or doze off to sex because she has just outlasted her battery packs.

With all the responsibilities of a woman. I think it's highly insensitive or uncaring for a man to just take a mistress instead because he doesn't get what he wants, don't you think?

So, what do you think about that? Yes, women have faults too, but unlike Mistresses, a wife doesn't need so much expenses to be turned-on. A simple romance could rekindle the 'mistress' in her. Only if the boy could just be a man and show her that she is special.

What's the childhood food you missed? The ones your granny or mom used to make.

2009-11-01T18:46:00.001+08:00

I'm happy today because I realized my craving to make something that my granny used to make us when we were still young, it's called 'Champorado' in my native tongue, but it's called 'chocolate porridge' in most nationalities.

It's like a porridge but with cocoa tablets called 'tabliya' (boiled cocoa seeds, ground and shaped into tablets - circular 1cm thick-coin like shapes - shown in the photo below).

My grandmother used to make that every Sunday. We pour condensed milk in it and enjoy its chocolaty flavor. Sometimes she boils the tabliya into hot choco which no instand choco drink could ever compete with. Though a note of warning because of its high cholesterol content.

Well, I have been keen to cook one someday and I'm glad we had made it for snacks this afternoon.

So what dishes, sweets, or cooking do you miss as a child? The ones your grandmother, mother or some relative used to make? Do you ever get to cook or it eat again?

A Tabliya ( cocoa tablet ) is Made from REAL PHILIPPINE PURE CACAO without any added ingredients.

You can't be strong all the time.

2009-04-16T23:38:00.000+08:00

This morning, I found myself feeling all better, it's bearable but not yet fully recovered. The day almost lasted with me not getting in touch with the emotional laydee. But I guess the provera I took (for the 3rd time now) has proven to be more effective and stronger than my will power.

By night time, tired of the day's activities, I found myself in tears! Again!

It's tough really to realize that things would never be as they were before, it's tougher knowing that regardless how people try to motivate you, they will always be mere spectators (mostly uninterested ones) to your life's drama. It's tougher still when your eyes are open to the reality that he has moved on. Tsk tsk... drama gyud diay ni na topic hehe..

People have mostly applauded my strict discipline, most even say I'm tough at all costs, never to be moved by emotion. I don't cry in public, I don't even cry at funerals!

But I've come to admit that indeed in every man/woman there will always be a child who needs to come out and should just be allowed to come out (at appropriate times when nobody can be bothered ~ like at night) when you just let go and give it a good cry, releasing all the pain in your heart so that you'd have the strength to face the next day with new-found strength.

Indeed, you can not be strong all the time.

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS...

2009-01-05T05:00:00.000+08:00

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS...

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

The Holidays

2008-12-29T18:03:00.000+08:00

Do you ever get that lonely feeling during the holidays? I do, and it's downright weird that I would feel such a thing being with everyone I love during the holidays. Isn't it supposed to be with those who lack something in their lives? Or perhaps it's the cold weather that causes this loneliness?

I do feel it, usually during the holidays.

I guess this is the main reason why they say that suicide is higher during the holidays as compared to regular days. But don't worry, I'm not up to thinking about suicide, I'm too beautiful for that. Haahahhaa...

Further, as the year ends, I'm trying to compose my personal year-end report (as I have always written since time-a-memorial) and I truly could say that 2008 has had her ups and downs and nothing could beat the end of the year than to face a predicament I have always thought I was safe from every experiencing again.

Anyhow, for those who have the time to read it, then hopefully I could get my thoughts organized for my year-end report.

Pan Fried Steak with Mushrooms

2008-11-02T17:40:00.000+08:00

PAN FRIED BREAKFAST STEAKS with Mushrooms

Ingredients:

½ kilo beef steak, partially frozen

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. liquid seasoning

1 tsp. ground pepper

1 tsp. calamansi (lime) juice

½ cup butter

½ kilo fresh whole oyster mushroom

1 piece beef bullion cube

¼ cup all-purpose flour

2 cups fresh milk or full cream milk

¼ cup parsley or scallion for garnish

Season beef steak with salt, liquid seasoning, ground pepper & calamansi juice.

In heavy pan, heat butter & fry the steaks on both sides until it changes color. Transfer steaks to a platter and set aside.

In the same pan, add fresh whole oyster mushroom, sauté for a while then stir in beef bullion cubes & dissolve in butter. Thicken with flour. Cook for about 1 minute then pour in milk. Let boil then pour the sauce over steaks.

As a variation, we (my mom and I), cut the steaks into bite sizes for easy cooking plus boiled it with a little water after frying them up to achieve softer beef.

We brought this one as one of the dishes we contributed in our potluck dinner with the G-Clan members last Nov.2 "all souls day". They loved it.

Here's how it looks like....

Laydee learns to cook..

2008-10-31T05:36:00.000+08:00

Hi, I've been cooking once in a while, but to this date I haven't really been learning how to. Everyone in my family and relatives know how 'great' my baked spaghetti is heheheh.. Kabaga ug nawong uy!

Anyhow, I'm not trying to learn from online sources and have cooked 2 dishes for breakfast and 1 dessert this week. I just forgot to take photos on one of them, sadly.

Anyhow.. here's the Recipe and photos of each for those chef wannabees, like me...

___________________________________________________________________________

PORK CHINESE – STYLE (Asadong Baboy) 6 Servings

Ingredients:

2 Pounds / 0.91 Kilo Pork Loin

1/3 Cup Brown Sugar

2 Tbsp. finely minced garlic

Marinade:

1 Cup Water

2 Tbsps. White wine

1/3 Cup Soy Sauce

½ Tsp. salt

Marinate the whole pork loin for 30 minutes or more in a large pot.

Cover the pot and bring mixture to a boil. Lower heat and simmer

until meat is tender (about 30 minutes). Serve hot with the

marinade.

____________________________________________________________________________

HAM PEAS MUSHROOM FRITTATA Serves 6

Ingredients:

1 cup cubed Ham

1 small onion, sliced into rings

4 oz sliced mushrooms

½ cup shredded sharp cheddar

2 cloves garlic, minced

½ cup parsley, minced

¼ cup green onions, chopped

½ cup frozen peas

6 eggs

1 tbsp. olive oil

½ tsp. hot paprika

1 tbsp. butter

In a large, oven-safe skillet, heat oil. When hot, sauté onions (not green onions), garlic, mushrooms and ham about 10 minutes or until the mushrooms are soft and the onions translucent. Add parsley and peas, stir. Cook an additional 5 minutes. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, whisk together eggs, paprika, cheddar, salt, pepper and green onion. Add butter to the skillet and stir. Pour egg mixture over the skillet. Tilt the skillet slightly and turn to coat the ingredients in skillet with the egg mixture. Keep on medium heat and cook about 15 mins. or just almost set ~ the top should look “loose” and uncooked. Place under broiler for 5 mins. or until the top is just beginning to brown. Remove from pan and slice.

___________________________________________________________________________

BITTERSWEET CHOCOLATE TARTLETS Serves 8

8 in 4-inch tartlets or about 24 in 2-inch mini tartlets

Crust:

¼ cup sugar

8 tbsps. (1 stick) butter, melted

¾ tsp. vanilla extract

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/8 tsp. salt

Filling:

2 tbsps. sugar

1 cup cream (1 box 250 gm)

8 ounces bittersweet choco

(bet. 50% - 60%) Chopped

1 large egg

Pre-heat oven to 350 °F (177 °C). In bowl, combine melted butter, sugar, vanilla, salt & flour. Mix until just blended. The dough will be very soft & moist.
Gently press the dough into tartlets pans. Press in dough thinly as possible.
Place pans in the oven and bake for about 15-20 minutes. Until the crusts are golden brown (they should be fully baked).
While the tartlet shells are baking, heat the cream & sugar in a small saucepan to boiling. Pour over the chopped chocolate & whisk together until combined.
Whisk the egg into the chocolate mixture right before the shells are finished baking.
Remove shells from the oven & turn off oven.
Pour the filling into the shells.
Return the tartlets to the oven & leave them for about 5-10 minutes or when the filling is just beginning to set about the edges.

Online Love

2008-10-12T20:46:00.000+08:00

Though there's no real formula to love, we should always be cautious on who we give out our heart. Falling in love is one of the greatest feeling one can get, but sad to say, many have also been hurt because of easily trusting people.

One of the highly used mediums of today to gain relationships is the internet. I could really say that about 95% of people going online and using chatting sites and programs are there to look for their special someone. Though some are legit and sincere, there are many who are in it for money or for the sake of gaining a lot of so-called girlfriends or boyfriends (they're just collecting).

The problem with these types of relationship, is that you can't really see the person for who he/she is. Yes, there are webcams and they could send out pictures, but by my own experience, I'd say there is around 85% chances that how they look online isn't how they look in real. Why 85% well, in my online life, I've met so many people already (most for friendship only a few for romantic links) and I could say not all of them look the same! True! When I met my fiance, yes I did meet him online, I swear he passed in front of me several times, and I honestly didn't notice it was him!

Another problem posted to online relationships is the fact that your romantic flare is limited to the use of technology. You can't really smell the person, you can't really experience the 'feel' of how he/she is in real (unless of course when you do meet up). So, when they do decide to meet, there are overwhelming differences and some attitudes may be far from what is expected. One of my experiences on this is when I first met a friend. She was really very outgoing online, but when we met, we were as silent as the tombs. I guess it was because I expected her to be loud, that's why when we met and she didn't really talk much, I had second-thoughts of maybe I met a different person. Hahaha..

But the single most common problem online is the honesty factor. In one of my readings here online, I stumbled upon an article with regards to the psychiatric activity of a person online. It said that people tend to lie more online rather than in person. I can really say it's true because around 90% of those chatting online would say that their single when in fact they're married. Anyone who lacks beauty can become the Ms Universe online. Even men become women and women may be men online. Not to mention that there are far more incidents of betrayal and cheating done online than in real life.

So, given these problems posted and more. Am I recommending or stopping people from falling in love online? No. As I first stated in this discussion, 'there's no right formula for love' each person has his/her own story of love, and who am I to tell them otherwise? right?

But I do have to share tips for you guys/gals there who are meaning to find mr. right or ms. right online. Here there are:

1. Try not to expect too much.
2. Meet up before committing.
3. Take it slow.
4. Meet before committing.
5. Meet before committing.
6. Meet before committing.

Hehe.. No, your eyes are not deceiving you, I did type 'meet before committing' several times because this is the best way for you to have a better relationship online. It's sad that most people have built their lives over someone online, only to find out after a long while, that the person (or our views on the person) doesn't really exist. I have a friend, who was so addicted with the online love, that when one of her suitors decided to send her a plane ticket to his place, she immediately jumped in and went there. To make the long story short, she got pregnant only to find out that the 5 kids in the guy's family home (with his parents and sister) was in fact his. And she didn't know that until she gave birth! Imagine the horror. And not only that, a wife existed too!

So, before plunging into the love pool. Please take a moment or two to use your minds before your heart. Yes, we might feel that we're lacking time, or view that the fish in the ocean are starting to dwindle and there might no longer be someone for you. But remember that you are a person of worth and of course as one of the most famous songs I've listened to for quite a long time now says:

LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF, IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL.

Goodluck!

Smoking and Its effects

2008-09-05T06:06:00.000+08:00

Why quit smoking?

Most people know that smoking can cause lung cancer, but it can also cause many other cancers and illnesses.

Smoking kills around 114,000 people in the UK each year.

Of these deaths, about 42,800 are from smoking-related cancers, 30,600 from cardiovascular disease and 29,100 die slowly from emphysema and other chronic lung diseases.

How do cigarettes damage health?

Cigarettes contain more than 4000 chemical compounds and at least 400 toxic substances.

When you inhale, a cigarette burns at 700°C at the tip and around 60°C in the core. This heat breaks down the tobacco to produce various toxins.

As a cigarette burns, the residues are concentrated towards the butt.

The products that are most damaging are:

tar, a carcinogen (substance that causes cancer)
nicotine is addictive and increases cholesterol levels in your body
carbon monoxide reduces oxygen in the body
components of the gas and particulate phases cause chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder (COPD).

The damage caused by smoking is influenced by:

the number of cigarettes smoked
whether the cigarette has a filter
how the tobacco has been prepared.

Major diseases caused by smoking

Cardiovascular disease

Cardiovascular disease is the main cause of death due to smoking.

Hardening of the arteries is a process that develops over years, when cholesterol and other fats deposit in the arteries, leaving them narrow, blocked or rigid. When the arteries narrow (atherosclerosis), blood clots are likely to form.

Smoking accelerates the hardening and narrowing process in your arteries: it starts earlier and blood clots are two to four times more likely.

Cardiovasular disease can take many forms depending on which blood vessels are involved, and all of them are more common in people who smoke.

Coronary thrombosis: a blood clot in the arteries supplying the heart, which can lead to a heart attack. Around 30 per cent are caused by smoking.
Cerebral thrombosis: the vessels to the brain can become blocked, which can lead to collapse, stroke and paralysis.
If the kidney arteries are affected, then high blood pressure or kidney failure results.
Blockage to the vascular supply to the legs may lead to gangrene and amputation.

Smokers tend to develop coronary thrombosis 10 years earlier than non-smokers, and make up 9 out of 10 heart bypass patients.

Cancer

Smokers are more likely to get cancer than non-smokers. This is particularly true of lung cancer, throat cancer and mouth cancer, which hardly ever affect non-smokers.

The link between smoking and lung cancer is clear.

Ninety percent of lung cancer cases are due to smoking.
If no-one smoked, lung cancer would be a rare diagnosis - only 0.5 per cent of people who've never touched a cigarette develop lung cancer.
One in ten moderate smokers and almost one in five heavy smokers (more than 15 cigarettes a day) will die of lung cancer.

The more cigarettes you smoke in a day, and the longer you've smoked, the higher your risk of lung cancer. Similarly, the risk rises the deeper you inhale and the earlier in life you started smoking.

For ex-smokers, it takes approximately 15 years before the risk of lung cancer drops to the same as that of a non-smoker.

If you smoke, the risk of contracting mouth cancer is four times higher than for a non-smoker. Cancer can start in many areas of the mouth, with the most common being on or underneath the tongue, or on the lips.

Other types of cancer that are more common in smokers are:

COPD

Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is a collective term for a group of conditions that block airflow and make breathing more difficult, such as:

emphysema - breathlessness caused by damage to the air sacs (alveoli)
chronic bronchitis - coughing with a lot of mucus that continues for at least three months.

Smoking is the most common cause of COPD and is responsible for 80 per cent of cases.

It's estimated that 94 per cent of 20-a-day smokers have some emphysema when the lungs are examined after death, while more than 90 per cent of non-smokers have little or none.

COPD typically starts between the ages of 35 and 45 when lung function starts to decline anyway.

In smokers, the rate of decline in lung function can be three times the usual rate. As lung function declines, breathlessness begins.

As the condition progresses, severe breathing problems can require hospital care. The final stage is death from slow and progressive breathlessness.

Other risks caused by smoking

Smoking raises blood pressure, which can cause hypertension (high blood pressure) - a risk factor for heart attacks and stroke.
Couples who smoke are more likely to have fertility problems than couples who are non-smokers.
Smoking worsens asthma and counteracts asthma medication by worsening the inflammation of the airways that the medicine tries to ease.
The blood vessels in the eye are sensitive and can be easily damaged by smoke, causing a bloodshot appearance and itchiness.
Heavy smokers are twice as likely to get macular degeneration, resulting in the gradual loss of eyesight.
Smokers run an increased risk of cataracts.
Smokers take 25 per cent more sick days year than non-smokers.
Smoking stains your teeth and gums.
Smoking increases your risk of periodontal disease, which causes swollen gums, bad breath and teeth to fall out.
Smoking causes an acid taste in the mouth and contributes to the development of ulcers.
Smoking also affects your looks: smokers have paler skin and more wrinkles. This is because smoking reduces the blood supply to the skin and lowers levels of vitamin A.

Smoking and impotence

For men in their 30s and 40s, smoking increases the risk of erectile dysfunction (ED) by about 50 per cent.

Erection can't occur unless blood can flow freely into the penis, so these blood vessels have to be in good condition.

Smoking can damage the blood vessels and cause them to degenerate: nicotine narrows the arteries that lead to the penis, reducing blood flow and the pressure of blood in the penis.

This narrowing effect increases over time, so if you haven't got problems now, things could change later.

Erection problems in smokers may be an early warning signal that cigarettes are already damaging other areas of the body - such as the blood vessels that supply the heart.

Smoking and others

There are many health-related reasons to give up cigarettes - not just for smokers, but to protect those around you.

Babies born to mothers who smoke during pregnancy are twice as likely to be born prematurely and with a low birth weight.

Passive smoking

The 'side-stream' smoke that comes off a cigarette between puffs carries a higher risk than directly inhaled smoke.

Children who grow up in a home where one or both of their parents smoke have twice the risk of getting asthma and asthmatic bronchitis. They also have a higher risk of developing allergies.

Infants under two years old are more prone to severe respiratory infections and cot death.

For adults, passive smoking seems to increase the risk of lung cancer, but the evidence for an increased risk of heart disease is not yet conclusive.

Thinking about quitting?

As well as reducing your risk of getting a smoking-related illness, there are other benefits to quitting smoking.

General health improves - tiredness and headaches can be linked to smoking.
Your sense of taste and smell improve.
Your heart will be less strained and work more efficiently.

Stopping smoking is the single biggest thing you can do to improve your health, but it's a difficult task.

Smokers who are trying to kick their habit may be disappointed to find there's no single quit method that guarantees success.

The weight of evidence suggests that smokers should set a date to stop, and do their best to quit completely from this point.

On average it takes four to five attempts to give up, and there are a number of things that can help willpower:

nicotine replacement treatment (NRT) in the form of gum, skin patches or nasal spray
Zyban (bupropion) is a medicine that's licensed to help smoking cessation
behaviour modification programmes
alternative therapies such as acupuncture and hypnosis.

Based on a text by Dr Carl J Brandt

Brought to you by: www.diagnoseurillness.com
For more information ask our doctors through: md@diagnoseurillness.com

Chim Chim's First

2008-07-23T07:47:00.000+08:00

July 13 marks the 1st birthday of our pamangkin Giann Mathieu Joanes... whew! lagi taas kaayo ug pangalan, makabuang. Anyhow, the celebration was held on July 19 to allow others from Cotabato City to join in (his mother's side).

It wasn't a very big party. We just had to put on our Baby/Kid's Attire, there were 2 lechons and even 2 huge birthday cakes. There were food ranging from beef caldereta to crabs, shrimps, duck and etc. hehehhe..

It was a great night, it didn't rain nor was it too humid. And everyone had fun. Dad hired a Dance Instructor for the night and all I could say is.. It was heck of a tiring night... My legs hurt and my tummy ached.. hahahahha.. too much eating I guess.

There goes my weight ...

=)

Go through my pix for more photos of the event.

Pizza Craving

2008-06-08T19:05:00.000+08:00

Our family had the wildest pizza craving this weekend. I don't know but almost all of us had PIZZA HUT craving! haha.. we ended up buying 4 large pizzas.

Floods in Davao City!

2008-06-08T18:01:00.000+08:00

I was meaning to write this blog for a few days now but I didn't have the time nor the creativity to do it yet. haha.. gitamad lang gud oi..

Anyhow, this ocurred last Thursday, June 5th. It was a busy day for us but all the plans were blocked by a huge barrier ~ Rain..

Floods everywhere plus traffic jams. The usual 15mins travel time became 2hours!

Attached are photos of the incident.

This was along Uyanguren Street going to Jacinto Street.

Ponciano Reyes Street (PLDT Office)

Ponciano Reyes Street (Davao Light Building)

A woman's dead body found in her apartment after 35years.

2008-05-17T06:56:00.000+08:00

A woman in Croatia lied dead in her apartment for the 35years before being found by people/neighbors.

This for me is a serious scenario to our world today. This shows the lack of bond of people now-a-days. We forget relationships with our brothers and sisters. It's sad that a person could expire and yet no one could seem to notice they were gone.

Truly, technology, fast-paced lives, more money and destractions certainly takes its toll for humanity.

Translations

2008-05-04T17:21:00.000+08:00

Words are oftentimes mis-used or even mistranslated when you over-translate them. It even loses it's meaning and may come out funny. One classic example would be TOOTHPASTE. I'm particularly interested in this word (or noun) because it doesn't have a translation in Filipino or in our dialect. Well, for those who know what the words are then please correct me :)

I came across this topic in a skype group the other day, we were chatting our hearts out with people from around the world (well most are Filipinos but in different countries) then one person blurted "so ano ang tagalog sa toothpaste?" Everyone kept silent then someone suddenly blurted "joke ba yan?" then most chorused "COLGATE!"... much to my demise, I realized, I didn't know what the tagalog word is for Toothpaste, yet alone know the bisaya term for it.

So, I researched online but nothing. Then started texting my friends (Globe lang coz free txt ako sa globe hehhehe) then people started answering at the same time laughing at my query. Most answered "Tagalog term is COLGATE then Bisaya is PEPSODENT!" hahahhaa.. Then a friend's friend answered "The Tagalog and Bisaya term is ASIN" hahahahhaa.. then another answered "Pandikit sa ngipon!" hahahahha well.. TOOTHPASTE does mean Tooth (ngipin/ngipon) then Paste (glue, pandikit) so TOOTHPASTE is Pandikit sa ngipin hahahahhaa...

Until finally, everyone gave up and commented that there indeed are words which wouldn't sound right when translated nor did they even thought of the word of it in our local dialect.

Oh, I almost forgot, there was also another instance yesterday of debating on what KILIG is in English! hahahaha.. well, that survey has yet to come out but for those who actually know what it is in english, please do send messages or post comments so that our little brains could expand more.. hhahahaha..

Till then!...

Here's a text message I received today:

Man in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, "Hurse" he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"...

Nurse raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. She takes a close look and says "There is nothing wrong with them sir".

Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly "Thanks for that, it was just wonderful but listen very, very closely, and carefully...

ARE-MY-TEST-RESULTS-BACK?

An EMU

2008-05-03T06:00:00.000+08:00

The Emu is a large, flightless bird from Australia. It is the second-biggest bird in Australia and the third-biggest bird in the world (only the ostrich and cassowary are bigger). The emu is also very fast; it can run up to 30 mph (50 kph). Emus also swim very well.

This huge bird lives in flocks (groups) in grasslands, savannas (grasslands with some trees), and the Australian bush. The emu's life span is 10-20 years. The genus and species of the emu are Dromaius novaehollandiae.

Anatomy: Emus grow to be about 6 feet (185 cm) tall and weigh about 110 pounds (50 kg). This is bigger than many adult humans.

Reproduction: The emu's nest is a shallow hole by a bush; it is lined with leaves, grass, and bark. The female lays from 4 to 20 greenish-brown eggs in a clutch (a group of eggs laid at one time). Chicks (baby emus) hatch after an incubation period of about 8 weeks. The male incubates (keeps warm) the eggs and cares for the chicks for about 1 1/2 years.

Diet: Emus are primarily herbivores (plant-eaters). They eat grass, seeds, flowers, young plants, and fruit. They also eat some insects (including caterpillars). They swallow small stones (called gastroliths or gizzard stones) which stay in the gizzard and help grind up food.

I didn't really know this type of bird existed until my little brother showed me (he sent me a file transfer from yahoo messenger ~ we live in the same house and yet technology takes over our conversations, yeah, weird)

It certainly looks funny and he says it looks like someone we know. hahaha.. well, whoever you are, please come forward.. hahahahhaha

Condo Units

2008-05-01T10:36:00.003+08:00

Anyone interested to invest in their new home? Contact me now...

Introducing 3 Towers with distinct appeals..

a. Crown Tower
b. The Currency Tower

c. The Gallery Salcedo

All brought to you by Ayala Land's Crown Asia Properties...

for more information contact me

Joke Text Messages --- A Reflection

2008-04-30T11:47:00.002+08:00

Sa sermon, bag-ong Kano nga pari gitabangan sa Pinoy Interpreter:

Pari: The Lord was crucified between two robblers.
Roy: Si Hesus gilansang tunga sa duha ka goma.

Pari: If we do not repent.
Roy: Kung dili ta mamintal ug usab.

Pari: The wrath of God will come upon you.
Roy: Ang mga ilaga sa Dios moanha kaninyo.

(Nangatawa ang mga nanimba)

Pari: Well.. well...
Roy: Atabay, Atabay...

Those are one of the many jokes I often receive on day-to-day basis and it truly makes me smile and wonder: How do makers of these jokes ever conceive such simple yet effective ones?

Well, maybe it's just me, maybe mababaw lang talaga ang kaligayahan ko.. or simply maybe my tickle bones are just too sensitive. But it's funny.. most especially the joke which follows:

During the Last Supper, Jesus broke bread and shared to the twelve. So did they share with the wine... then Jesus said, "Naa diri kaninyo karon ang tao nga mag-betray kanako" ... Then Jesus looked sternly to Judas.. Judas said, " Mao na lagi na ang kadaot nimo Jes uy! makainom na gani ka, pataka ra ka ug panangil! Pag- sure sa oi!"

Hahahahaha....

I mean, I doubt the authors of these jokes ever wanted to ignite furies to the religious, nor are they doing that to mock the religion. I think it's plainly for laughs. Something that everyone truly needs these days. As they say, Laughter indeed is the best medicine.

Earth Hour Experience

2008-03-29T21:11:00.003+08:00

Our family joined the EARTH HOUR this year and it was great, not only did we somehow 'contribute' to a global campaign which centers with 'sensitivity' to the earth's changes, it is also a good practice when shared with one's family.

We aren't actually the hardcore environmentalists-type of people, but we just realized how some peace and quite with no technology is important when we experienced a 30-minute blackout last night due to heavy rains. I didn't know of this EARTH HOUR, until my mom read about it in the news this morning.

The 60-minute exercise just started with my dad turning our main line off , it has been a rainy day since this afternoon so the cool air just helped us get through the hour without cooling. We just finished our dinner, so we just sat in our dining area and started sharing opinions and past stories.

All I can say is, indeed it's a nice gesture and I hope we'll remember to do this every year. :) Not only does it keep our bond tighter, it also helps with the electric bills somehow haha.. plus, I guess it's high time for us to slowly separate ourselves (even if it's just a few minutes) from technology where most are already too attuned and have become slaves by them.

=)

Waiting for a perfect man....

2008-03-07T08:45:00.002+08:00

hmmm.....

Inquiry of Leslie about my glucose.

2008-03-07T08:31:00.003+08:00

I don't know about the 120 limit. But there are 2 types of test you can do. There's the no eating for 10hours test, usually you take blood in the morning before breakfast. The level of glucose that is normal with that type of test is 100 and below. Then there's the 2-hour post eating, wherein the normal would be 140 and below as instructed by my Diabetic expert. Hehehe..

So there you go, maybe there are different results for the different gadgets. I'm using the Accu-Check Active product.

476 Posts

2008-03-07T08:01:00.003+08:00

As I went online to post a picture of my workstation (as in station kung asa ko naga work hehe). I noticed that I have already reached 476 Posts. Could you imagine, me? 476 Posts?! well, I always thought I didn't reach 100. hahaa..

476 and counting, boring posts! hahahaha

anyways, here's what I wanted to show you ... my workstation..

Hehehe.. it's not that state-of-the art, but I'm happy and comfortable with it. hahaha.. Nah, I was just trying out my new Sony Cyber-shot hahahahaha...

See the effect? hmm... that electric fan was running at full speed when I took the shot. ;) cool, ain't it?

Glucose

2008-01-20T07:10:00.000+08:00

Not really wanting to make this blog a focus to my medical health. hehe.. Can't help but post this one out..

It's been reverse this time since the last post, low glucose is now the problem. It seems that regardless what I do and eat, my glucose is still low. Like yesterday, without taking any meds, surely my glucose by afternoon would either rich the minimum 140 (normal) or even more but to my surprise it was only 114. Plus, I have been experiencing dizziness especially when I do my gym routine. Dizziness which is only alleviated when I take in food, just imagine taking your lunch at 10am when you had your breakfast at 7am, weird isn't it.

Oh well, I guess at this point, it's definitely time to say 'it's high time to see your doctor!'

2007-12-03T12:14:00.001+08:00

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Themesong - You Make Me Feel Brand New..

2007-09-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

This is my parents' Theme song. *LOL*

My love
I’ll never find the words, my love
To tell you how I feel, my love
Mere words could not explain
Precious love
You held my life within your hands
Created everything I am
Taught me how to live again

Only you
Cared when I needed a friend
Believed in me through thick and thin
This song is for you
Filled with gratitude and love

God bless you
You make me feel brand new
For God blessed me with you
You make me feel brand new
I sing this song ’cause you
Make me feel brand new

My love
Whenever I was insecure
You built me up and made me sure
You gave my pride back to me
Precious friend
With you I’ll always have a friend
You’re someone who I can depend
To walk a path that never ends

Without you
My life has no meaning or rhyme
Like notes to a song out of time
How can I repay
You for having faith in me

My New Desktop

2007-09-28T23:47:00.000+08:00

This is my new desktop wallpaper, I used the same for my friendster profile wallpaper as well. Isn't it cute?

=)

Personal Movie Tradition

2007-09-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

I can't help but smile each time I get the craving to watch my Beauty and the Beast DVD. I don't really know what's in it but it always makes me cry somehow of how two people could not really express themselves well with saying the words 'I love you' and sometimes it's almost too late (well too late for most) before they do get the courage to say it out loud.

I have always been fascinated with the movie and all my brothers and family members know how much I go gaga over it, my brother's girlfriend once asked him why he memorized all the lines in the movie.. Well, it's pretty obvious that when I crave for the movie, they are forced to watch it as well. Hahaha..

=)

By the way, I don't really cry at movies at all, just this one and to make things worst, I have watched this movie for the longest time (I think I average around 3-5times a year).

Hahaha..

Monitoring

2007-09-05T11:10:00.000+08:00

I haven't posted for a long time, I have tried several times but the blog is somewhat down every time I go online. It's either the blog is down or my internet connection is too slow.

These days (well actually weeks) I have been monitoring my blood sugar. I just recently discovered that I am diabetic (May) (Stage 1). Well, no need to worry because I'm handling it pretty well. Have bought the monitoring device at P2,500 whew with strips that costs around P600 (25 pieces). Whew! My budgeting is really as stretched as can be. Plus of course, not to mention the additional medications apart from the P55 x 2 a day for 10 days that I take on a monthly basis. Whew!

But so far, it's been going great. I have a 'normal' blood sugar for the last couple of weeks. Started going to the gym once again. Refreshed and feeling healthy. Not to mention the daily dose of calamansi juice that I need (for my gall stone). What the heck! I'm not really that sick though, it just seem like it. But inside out, I'm great. Never felt better.

Anyways these days apart from work and gym I have been doing a lot of myLot. it's great in 3 months I have around $25. I didn't decide to withdraw the money yet because dollar is low these days in the Philippines at around P44.00 - $1.00. I'm still waiting when it reaches around P50.00. Hahaha... Well, not really, I'll try to open a bank account this month so I can finally withdraw. Don't want to use my current bank accounts so as not to confuse me and to be sure that the income is really genuine and they wouldn't take anything out of my account.

=)

MyLot

2007-06-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

I stumbled upon a site that holds promises but I think it's possible.

For those who would like to try it, be my guest. I won't promise anything coz I haven't gotten paid yet. But if you have time on your hands and you are always online, then why not try. Actually, what you will only do is to post something. Like how we react to chatrooms or to forums or even to blogs. But this time you get paid. It's not a huge amount but sooner or later it accumulated. I think as of the moment it's $0.017 per post for around 6-8 sentences.

Well, I'll give the reader's their cup to decide.

For those who would like, here's the link. You can message me if you are interested, just leave your yahoo messenger id and I'll guide you through the process.

here's the link: http://www.mylot.com/?ref=laydee

Success is the ability to try new things in the hope for greater things. =)

the classic

2007-06-09T17:49:00.000+08:00

i wasn't doing anything or couldn't do anything at all due to the arrival of my long-time visitor ~ my menses. hahaha... so i opted to go for the jkdrama online thru a website the features full-length korean drama teleseries and movies.. at one point i got in touch with a very emotional film, it's the so-called mother film of most of the korean films i came to know like windstruck and my sassy girl... it's entitled 'the classic'.

i'm not here to talk about the movie, since most information can easily by gathered over the net.. what i'm here to talk about is the face in the movie... take a look at these

who does these pictures remind u of?!

if it doesn't remind you of anyone.. well... i am reminded of a certain past.. whew...!

his name is cho seung woo... go figure.

Way Back Into Love

2007-05-30T21:58:00.000+08:00

Way Back into Love

(featuring: Haley Bennett and Hugh Grant)
OST: Music and Lyrics

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

So Many Events...

2007-05-12T19:38:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a month since my graduation from MBA last April 28. Things have been very hectic lately with unforeseen events that shaped me the last few weeks. nakz.

Basically, graduated from MBA in April 2007, beforehand, was bugged by an extortionist for my thesis 2days before my 27th birthday! (hay, believe it!). Then my grandmother fell off a jeepney, got hip replacement... whew 100k!

Now, just last week, got my bloodwork and discovered I am diabetic! went to my OB GYNE and was told that I may not be able to produce enough hormones to have my egg mature, in short, may not be able to produce kids! hahahay.. plus to make things worst, she said I have the blueprint of someone who would probably have cancer of the uterus. whoah. Going to start sets of medications on the 21st, followed by a massive bloodflow 10days after. sheez.. in short, im sick!

Anyways, it might cause most to be depressed but honestly I'm not. It has somehow helped me to become better myself. Better in the sense that I don't take things forgranted anymore, I am aware of the things I do and the people around me.

So, there you go, updates for now.. hehehe.. here are some pix of the events.

Uncle Sonny, Sunshine and I at the hospital with Granny.

Emmanuel's 12th birthday party at our house.

hehe.. the clan peeps at emem's birthday party.

Gclan on Emem's Birthday Party.

Me, looking old at 27.

Would you Believe?!

2007-04-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

What do your lips say about you? (with pics!)

You're a bit of a whore. YOu love making out, hot guys, and maybe more. OR maybe your'e not even a whore, maybe you're just boy crazy. Notice the sugary lips though...
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

ReTakE!!! Compre (Part 2)

2007-03-25T07:52:00.000+08:00

Whew.. 6 compre exam subjects ~ i had to retake 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, as they say "That's life!"

hehehe... yesterday (until early today) I had to go thru the same experience (but of course with the leraning curve) again with Management Marketing. Out of 28, only 6 passed.. if you wan't to know why, well I have no idea either (the prof just browzed thru the problem statement, not even trying to open her mind as to what the contents are in the analysis and recommendation ~ what gives, she ain't open minded at all ~ and she calls herself an AIM MBA.. whew.)

Anyways, we had to go thru it one more time, but this time everything was somewhat 'smooth
er' ... unlike before when i slept only an hour, last night I finished as early as 12midnight and woke up at 5:30am to print.

Well, I am hoping this would be the end of this exam since I have paid a price (not worth) for a retake exam. But then again, as my friend says "Binagsak ka, you are angry and insulted ~ Papatalo ka?!" hehehe.. Hell no! that's why I slept early! hehehe... but that doesn't mean though that I did my paper half-hazardly.

I hope she sees the point in there, or else fats would certainly fly!

here are the 'moments' last night... I took the pictures secretly so don't expect good poses.. hehehe...

And the 'moments' during the first take....

My Hemin Experience

2007-03-21T19:57:00.000+08:00

... a pouch of dough was given to me 10days ago.. it was the Hemin Bread along with it an instruction of what is to be done daily for the next 10days with a huge-lettered sentence stating 'once this bread is offered, you should not reject it' whew.. hehehe...

well.. it was difficult but I had done it!

I cooked it and whala... perfection at its best! hehehe... commended by everyone around me, and before it was gulped down, i had a chance to take its picture, the last memory that i'll have since once you have done the Hemin Bread, you can never bake it again.. hehehe...

here it is...

My Compre Exams

2007-03-14T08:59:00.000+08:00

After 2 weeks of extensive (?) reviews, we were off to study on our own ~ studying for most consisted of sleeping after a few pages of notes and books (mind the 's' coz we read not less than 2 books ~ including reviewer and bible-thick modules) afterwhich we'd send each other messages on how much each felt about not being able to remember a single thing. =)

Then the dreaded comprehensive exams came (Feb. 26, 2007). I was early, full-packed with data that I forgot to convert to information (haha!) plus baon unlike any other... hehehe...

The first exam was on Productions/Operations Management, composed of true or false questions, essays and computations. Reading the instructions already created commotion as ut read ONE BOND PAPER PER QUESTION... did it mean that for each number of True or False we are to use a page??! ... funny talga noh? here are masteral students approaching the end of their masters and yet we still forgot our practicality and common sense!

The 2nd night's exam was Human Behaviour in an Organization, a surprising exam because not a single topic on the review came out.. hhaaha... there was even a question on communication which was not included in the review and was taken the 1st sem. of the 1st year of classes! hehehe... and to make matters worst, there was an uncomplete case at the back, the shortest case I ever read, and I had to make all the assumptions in the world to solve it. hahahhaha

The 3rd night... whew, Managerial Statistics.. I completely went blank at this exam. Took me a few minutes and several flips of pages to realize I'm taking an exam! hahahhaa... oh No No No!

The 4th night... Financial Management. I was qualmish the whole day since I thought the principle of making income statements, balance sheets, and cashflow statements shouldn't be stressed with this one since WE are supposedly targeting the 'management' deal, and not the accountant deal. Yeah, we needed to know how things work, but it's more important to know what to do about the reports, since we can avail of an accountant's services to make these reports anyways. My brains just closed during the reviews and the study-period... hahaha.. after me and sir mario's expressed disgust over the figures, we decided to say que sera sera! and alas when the exams came, it was a case on financial resources to be decided on.. hahahha THIS IS WHAT FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT IS! yeah! hehehe...

The 5th night's exams, first ever exam that I didn't finish early, whew, I took it from 6pm till 11pm! IMAGINE That! that's Strategic Management for You!

and the last exam.. whew... Marketing. It was pretty impractical to give the exams at 6pm when you have the whole day of Saturday, ain't it? well, we took the case at 6pm and sumbitted the individual analysis by 7am on Sunday. It was a group discussion type of a case, and we needed to arrive at the right issue. We were 12 in the group, and voice raised as midnight came.. hahahha... I went home at around 1am, slept til 2am, then worked on the paper.. whew... got out of the house by 6:15am and arrived at school (fully prepared to submit) at 7:00am.... not looking back at anything, I submitted.

The end of my 7-day compre exams. The results are coming up soon, and I have no idea on what is to happen. No matter what happens, there's no turning back! hehehe..

isa pa!

2007-03-06T08:50:00.000+08:00

heheheh another shot of us... with luwee ;)

2007-03-05T08:19:00.000+08:00

asa ra ka ana! hehehe... milagro na ng ma-bridesmaid ang mga off the charts ah...
hehehe... this was taken at our berkz' Luwee's Wedding.
Obvously wala siya apil kay naa siya sa altar.. hehhee...

thanks luy for the pix.

Still to come: my story about the compre exams ~ need time to breathe first. ;)

What do you do if you where in my shoes?

2007-02-21T10:55:00.000+08:00

After a few weeks of silence, completely closing my eyes and ears to the woes of my heart (nakz!).. someone is bothering me again ~~ my ex's gf.

Virtually didn't allow me to sleep last night, bothering me with messages such that same kami boses ng ex ko, same pa way mag txt, na I had alot of bfs daw according to my ex, and etc.

Yeah, anyone would just ignore... but it's hard to do so when you can't really turn your cellphone off (and sadly, my phone doesn't have the 'ignore number' button which I now envy with sony ericsson).

My subconscious tells me she's just way over-her-head insecure.. but the constant bugging and the way she composed her txts seem like she's mocking my being.

Can anyone help me put her out of her misery??!!

Hay! I know everyone sees me as someone sweet, mabait, etc.. but I can be the devil too!
I wanted so much to post her number sa mga porn sites or sa chatroom para maloka siya sa kakasagot ng mga maniac...

hay I could do worst..

But I guess, I'd be insecure too if I where in her shoes (sus sa ganda kong toh! kahit sino ma-insecure ~ hahaha jokez).

As my friend Ash told me before 'napakadrama ng blog mo!' ... hay naku, these sort of stuff keeps me busy unproductively. Someday, I will somehow have lots of positive points to post soon. =)

Nga pala, to make matters worst, all these things are happening a week before I am going to take my comprehensive exams for my master..... as if that wasn't worst, I still have to make my baby thesis of which I would have to defend on the 2nd week of march or so.... hay!!!!! plus I got deadlines for work!!!!!!!!!!

Hay, pasalamat siya naa siya sa layo, kay kung dili nayab-an na ug acido ang iyang dagway!

Dropped like a ball

2007-02-10T07:37:00.000+08:00

Haven't posted much due to the net being down plus I got a lot to do these days.

It's sad how that someone could just drop you like a ball when things go wrong noh? you work so hard to make everything ok but in the end, without even seeing the effort, he just drop you. This type of disappointment usually make people think of suicide as an escape, but not for me.

It's just painful. No words can completely describe the way I feel right now, it's just a few days away from the person's birthday and you've started buying or creating that special surprise, plus v-day is coming up and in one instant, you were completely let go and dropped like a baby in a pool of icy cold water. Above everything else, he just says 'sorry for everything' like a 'thank you' note after passionate love-making.

I thought there was something special, hay, gaga parin pala ako.

hay, im not angry, nor do I ever want revenge. A male-friend told me that the mistake of women most of the time is they never fight for the one they love, how do u fight when he himself quit on you?

Well, I have no choice but to move on. Crying doesn't help neither does talking about it. I'm too old to mope and too stressed out to just go down and the floor and cry. I have comprehensive exams for all my mba subjects in 2 weeks, a paper to make and defend.

I guess I'm human... hurting and can't do anything about it.

hay...........

cute pix

2006-12-07T13:40:00.000+08:00

a nice photo of a boquet of flowers i'd like to have if ever i got married.. naykz.. hahahahah... wala gud palusot lang.. ibutang man gud nako sa friendster then naa limit sa sizes na pwede i-upload sa photobucket.. so im trying it here hhahahaha... hope this works..

The Mission

2006-12-07T08:04:00.000+08:00

PLOT:

Jeremy Irons plays a Spanish Jesuit who goes into the South American wilderness to build a mission in the hope of converting the Indians of the region. Robert DeNiro plays a slave hunter who is converted and joins Irons in his mission. When Spain sells the colony to Portugal, they are forced to defend all they have built against the Portugese aggressors.

Father Gabriel ascends the mountains of Brazil to bring christianity to the natives. He is successful and brings about a golden age among them. Mendoza, a slaver, kills his brother in a fit of rage, and only Fr. Gabriel's guidance prevents his suicide. Gabriel brings Mendoza to work at his mission with the natives, and Mendoza finds peace and asks to become a priest. The church , under pressure, cedes the land to the Portuguese which will allow slavers in again. Mendoza breaks his vows and organizes the natives to resist while Gabriel warns him to help them as a priest.

We watched this movie for our Heroic Leadership (Ignatian Theology Class) for MBA - APEX... the heartwarming story gave us depression hahahha.. it pains me a lot when I see movies with a depressing ending, but hey, this is reality, from historical facts. It somehow makes you think, what good is doing good when evil somehow prevails? but morally, we must understand that though invisible to the eye, the effects of these stories motivate people and in the end it bring good to emerge as victors.

This is another poster of the said movie. The sword is quite symbolic in the movie, since Mendoza pledged for himself to never hold a sword after killing his beloved brother for a woman... and yet, was forced to use it again to defend the natives.

Movie Reviews

2006-11-27T11:16:00.000+08:00

Casino Royale - 007

Watched with my family last week, was a most welcomed version of the Bond films maybe because it didn't quite jive with what I expected.

The charismatic, smooth debonaire Bond was now as unBondly like as he could be hehehe.. well of course he shoud! coz this movie supposedly is James Bond when he just got the 007 promotion.

I had perceived that they were wrong for choosing Daniel Craig instead of Pierce (whom I thinkis the most fitting James Bond by looks and charms) but I was wrong, he did portray Bond as he should .. heheh clumsy, unsophisticated, inexperienced, BLOODY James Bond.. with a twist of reality ~ he fell inlove!!!

A two-thumbs up for me with this movie. Tama sabi ng friends ko, at first glance sa movie, pangit talaga si Daniel, but as the film starts to roll and action scene unforld ~ gumagwapo siya! hahahaha...

Happy Feet! the fur-ball penguin who was discriminated by the whole pack because he failed to have what penguins of their caliber needed to have in order to survive (in their case ~ to make an egg)... he didn't know how to let his whole being and happines out by SINGING! instead all he could do was TAP DANCE which was considered 'strange' and 'wierd' in their genre.

All I can say is ~ CUTE! hehehe... the characters where cute, plus they creatively mixed the songs so as they'd compliment the notes and lyrics, a very good musical ~ especially in the mating season. hehehe... plus note to audience, you got to listen well with the conversations at the same time look at the backgrounds coz there are alot of funny lines and actions they're showing (wierd nga eh, kasi dun sa movie house, tawa ng tawa na kami ng mga kapatid ko but a lot of the audiences just chuckled! ~ WIERD!) hehehhe...

A very good light-hearted movie and motivation for people who are 'difference' and 'don't belong' a classic interpretation of the 'ugly duckling' story.

Nicely made, a 2 thumbs up for me too!

Week...

2006-11-19T09:51:00.000+08:00

Week's Updates..

Monday ~~ Hmm.. to start off, I did a triple summer sault at the Badminton Court.. hahahaha BEFORE THE GAME!.. the court was so dark (we were the first ones to arrive that night) and i tripped from a low bench, poised and all with wearing high-heeled shoes and red dress.. bwahahahahah =)

Tuesday ~~ Did a presentation for the company, I did fairly well, all I can remember is I can't stop laughing at one joke, we all did... I was so afraid I won't be able to finish the presentation coz I can't stop laughing!!!

Wednesday ~~ 1hour and 15mins badminton one-on-one with my mom... total action.. and of course major hingal! hahahahha

Thursday ~~ showers all over davao, could hardly get from one place to the other without getting wet! waaa... met with my MBA team at Karl's Koffee and went to tsinoy EB with Fujiko and Melai where we had a blast at Bigby's , specially the FC Waiter.. hehehe...

eb pix

taken at Bigby's - eating hmm... midnight dream cake... it was quite tasty but the caramel was just way way too sweet for the diabetic.

What was funny about the waiter was that he was too welcoming for comfort.. hehehe.. he'd do everything to make the customer feel at home to the point of scaring them off! hahahaha...

happy feet... hehehe.. the usual Davao-Tsinoy EB tradition, hehehe... happy feet pictorial. hahaha.. kahit na 3 lang, patuloy parin ang EB!

At Grand Regal ~ Mercure Hotel ~ Entrance, nagpabaga na lang gyud ug nawong ba.. kay medyo ulaw na gyud.. hehehe... can't believe we did these.. hahahaha

oh by the way, i'm with fujiko ashley and melai melai. hehehe... Davao Tsinoyers.

bought my 3rd 'tsinelas' this year

Friday ~ Masteral once more... with my classmates, the night was cool, and I was late! hahahaha

Saturday ~ quite a loooonnnnggg day... makabuang ang quanti!!!! waaaaaa!!!! but thankfully Flo did something about it.. hehehehe... now we're all excited to go to Gensan Next week!!! weeeheeee!!!!
Some pix of Davao pala.. taken by FuJiKo!

imagest above and beside are photos taken from Marco Polo Hotel, the obvious building with a cylindrical feature in the middle is my alma mater hehehe...

November Events...... 2006

2006-11-14T10:03:00.000+08:00

November 1 started the Events for the G-clan... well obviously there's one thing in common for us all... ~ FOOD!

Daddy

2006-10-25T09:02:00.000+08:00

The above are the video strips I created for my Daddy's 53rd Birthday last October 19,2006... hehehe....

The weekend....

2006-10-24T08:30:00.000+08:00

Last weekend (Oct.21-22) we, higschool berkz, went to the province to shoot a pre-nuptial AVP and pictorial for a buddy's wedding this December... we stayed in an exclusive beach house.. did interviews with their relatives and friends... I did the interviews for the parents (both the male and the female's side)..

... asking moms and dads to speak about their son or daughter brings a smile to my face, watching them teary-eyed at answering some quite emotional questions makes my heart warm. I myself almost cried at those interviews, it seemed at that moment that they came to realize 'this is it! there's no turning back ~ their son/daughter is ready to go the next step... i was wondering what my mom and dad would have felt if I was the one getting married..! ~ hahaha...

The weekend was the thing I needed, when reality slaps your face you certainly need to take a step or two back. After a long time, I have finally known the reason why he can't love me. The reason is valid but painful, tried to cry but tears won't fall hurriedly, pa-unti unti... it left me feeling ripped and torn.. but over the weekend, laughing and enjoying time with my friends made me calm down.

I don't know where the future would lead us, but I'm glad he finally opened up the real reasons. And I pray someday, he may meet that person who he can entrust his heart and that person who can love him the whole package and someone who can gain his confidence na no matter what happens, she can be there for him ~ I believe someone like that still exists (the road to life isn't easy, but it would be worth while if you got someone who truly loves you)

:)

G-CLAN

2006-10-05T23:51:00.000+08:00

Earlier today, the clan celebrated our tito's 50th birthday...

Families gathered, the G - CLAN is at it again.

Sayang wasn't reminded of taking some photos of the occasion. But all I can say is
we've got a great clan ~ something to be proud of!

It didn't take a lot of effort to make any occasion memorable for this bunch. And
there are talents within each, and what's nice is that the members can actually
feel comfortable with the group and can perform! hehe..

top voices from once 'sip-onon' hehehe.. now we got the oohh's and the ahhh's
as our cousins showed their singing prowess.. from the videoke to the live singing with
strings. ~ it's not surprising how a simple gathering would end at 12midnight! haha..

I am proud to be a part of the Clan...!

hmm.. feeling.

2006-09-23T09:14:00.000+08:00

Do you ever get that feeling where you feel you miss someone so much? and in denial of who that someone is?

I've been having that sort of feeling for several days now, I know who I miss but I tend to brush off the feeling coz it's just not right.

I believe in loyalty and committment, where the person doesn't need to be beside you all the time and even if you don't see him, the feeling is still the same.

And this feeling bothers me... big time.

CrEePy As iN!

Anyways, updates... today ends my first trimester at MBA - APEX, with lots of paperwork loads to finish plus another last resort paper, I don't know if I can hold on pa! hehehe.. as if! I've completed all my accounting paperworks, I have but one na lang sa research.. I can't start it off since the prof hasn't approved my research question yet! we have to meet this afternoon pa.

Aside from school, my ceo just targeted me as his project! he started the business over 10years ago, at my AGE! and he just drops the bomb and say... "hey laydee, I was your age when I started, YOU should be in my POSITION at your age!"

tough times ahead...

Blogger at 26..

2006-09-12T08:22:00.000+08:00

Blogger at 26....

This week proved to be the most challenging so far this year. With the circumstances that dawned me, not mentioning the emotional strain things have put me plus the final lap of my first tri-sem with MBA APEX, the pressures of work plus the constant planning that seemed to get us no-where with my berkz.

And to make things worst, I've lost the one person who had kept me sane all this time, my shoulder-to-cry-on, my listening-buddy, and the person who always said he'd never forget me ~ gone coz of pride.. My Pride.. whew..

Now, I am but a lost soul seeking something unknown waiting for a chance to someday find the path that leads to where I am supposed to be.

Saddened of the realities of life...

2006-09-09T18:32:00.000+08:00

I was shocked by a sudden news I received in my cellphone just a few minutes ago.. a day of laughter and fun (thanks to my MBA - APEX counterparts) changed into gloom as I read the text message over and over again..

... a niece of my tita in my company died this morning, due to sepsis from unwanted pregnancy.

I knew her, she was a soft-spoken pretty young girl, a nursing student... and I could only remember her smile.

It's such a tragic how young people now-a-days are so prone to death, this has already been the 3rd death I've heard over the week. The other was a friend of my brother's he died of "bangungot".

Hay, I'm saddened by the realities of life, though I don't really know the story behind nor do I truly know the people, it's just so sad that a simple mistake could end their chances of making a difference or changing for the better.

There would be power hungry people who'd surely comment that this is the main reason why abortion should be legalized or that it should not be legalized but I don't care about what they say. For me this truly reflects on how families are no longer the comfort zones of the young, how too much propaganda on what's cool or not has destroyed the basic family unit, and how we ourselves would care less until this sort of thing knocks on our doors and into our lives - when it's too late and all we can say is 'sayang'.

This clearly made me reflect on my own womanhood, how more and more women have become so tied-up looking for love. It is with our misguided feelings of emptiness that cause us to be taken forgranted by men (who are only actually acting upon their macho images). And alas these women! would think as if losing these men is the most fearful event of their lives!

Di ako nagmamalinis but hey, come on! can we please just have more respect for ourselves??!

Personality Test using our Birth Date

2006-08-07T08:56:00.000+08:00

our birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing.

To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the
birth date together, like in the example, until there is only one digit.
A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just color your choice differently and give you a little insight.

Example: November 1, 1911
11 + 1 + 1911 = 1923
1 + 9 + 2 + 3 = 15 >> 1 + 5 = 6

Keep going until you end up with a single digit number. 6 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example.

then post what's yours.

HAVE FUN !!

#1 THE ORIGINATOR
#2 THE PEACEMAKER
#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
#4 THE CONSERVATIVE
#5 THE NONCONFORMIST
#6 THE ROMANTIC
#7 THE INTELLECTUAL
#8 THE BIG SHOT
#9 THE PERFORMER

# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR
1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn Others ideas might be just as good or bette r and to stay open minded. Famous 1's Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.

#2 - THE PEACEMAKER
2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be ALONE THAN in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off. Famous 2's President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
3's are idealists. They are ver y creative, social, cha rming,
> romantic,and easygoing. They start any things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view. Famous 3's Alan Alder, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster

# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE
4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine.
They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves. Famous 4's Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey

# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST
5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions. Famous 5's Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller and Mark Hail.

# 6 - THE ROMANTIC
6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They a re very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot. Famous 6's Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Merlyn Steep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn

#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL
7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. The y like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large. Famous
7's William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana

# 8 - THE BIG SHOT
8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want. Famous 8's Edgar Cayce,
Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, and Nostrodamus

#9 - THE PERFORMER
9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away t heir last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation. Famous 9's Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley

My House Personality Test

2006-07-06T14:35:00.000+08:00

A cuzin brought my attention to Draw a House personality test... I have been fond of them lately.. found this site and here's what it had to say bout me :D
--------------
Based on the drawing and the 10 answers they gave this is a summary of their personality:
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. son.

When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It's difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.
--------------

MBA - APEX

2006-06-17T21:38:00.000+08:00

After a long time planning... I've decided and am doing it!

I recently started by MBA - APEX at my old University this month. The used to be 3year-MBA program now digested into uhm... hopefully... 1 YEAR! hehehe..

I had some apprehensions as to how I'm going to cope going back to being a student since it entails a lot of routine and practices I have no longer accustomed to doing. It also meant a lot of changes to what I AM accustomed and there are a lot of sacrifices to be made ~ but I thought WHY NOT?!! I am 26, it's the right time for me to stretch my vision as to what I really want to do in the long-run.

For the first time in my life I know what I really want. Hopefully I can fuel it up til I get it right.

Anyways, arriving to school last June 9,2006 sent me a melancholic feeling. Walking at the pathwys I used to walk 6 years ago or so. I had a few minutes to spare so I marvelled at the many different structures that was once not there.. hehehe... I remembered there was a construction at my last year in the University, now I see the new facilities and buildings that we used to joke "yan, yan ang reasons why tuition fees are going up!" hehehe...

Arriving at my Graduate School class.. I saw unfamiliar faces and was shocked... we are but 7 in the class. I thought "yup, here we are, risking ourselves into accelerating the 3year-mba to 1". After listening to each stories, a splurge of energy brought me new-found excitment. I am part of a group with explendid backgrounds. Thought we were 7, no class can match our class hehehe... composed of a Doctor of Medicine, a CPA, a Sales and Marketing person, an Area Manager at the same time a Civil Engineer, a Satellite Office Head of an Australian owned company, a Gen Manager of a Pharma Company based in Vietnam and also a Biology grad and I hehehe.... not to mention the vastness of age gap! 20's 30's 40's and 60's! and our professors in their 50's hahahaha...

It's remarkable to be with these people and I am sure not only will I learn a lot on the modules of the academe, I'm sure I can extract some experiences well beyond my years!

My Supposedly 1st Year Anniversary

2006-06-06T07:41:00.000+08:00

I woke up today hoping the feeling would be gone
But then I realized, it just can't be done.
Thoughts raged as I recalled..
It was this day.... 1 year had gone.

Hmm... it was dawn when we finally decided to try and put our friendship to second base. I was so excited coz you'd be my first. Didn't really know how it would turn out, but I had hopes na it would somehow last.

I was wrong, so naive, so foolish.
Didn't see, didn't know it would end like this.
I trusted, I cared, I loved.
You didn't believe... Oh! a dud!

When I knew your past I said to myself "he didn't deserve that... I would never leave him". Alas in the end, I was left like a baby puppy left in the rain to die. (firugatively speaking hehehe)

1 year I thought things would change.
My heart's beating would finally end its pain.
But no! Oh how could this be?
How could I still be inlove with thee????!!!!

Love, a profoundly mysterious feeling that sulks deep within one's heart. Many search for it, others even die for it. Lucky are those who have found it. But one this is for sure, one cannot control the bearer of Love.. No one really knows if the other is true or he's just fooling around. But one thing is for sure, it just can't be undone like undoing one's shoelaces. It may take days and months for others..... but for me it lasts a lifetime.

Hay, true love is truly a blessing, but not all will be graced by it's presence.

My PiGgY

2006-05-12T15:56:00.000+08:00

The Pig Drawing Personality TestThe best part about this is that you can forward it round your officeand then laugh at everyone's crap drawings. We are thinking about setting upa small pig art gallery in the corner of the office here.Don't cheat by reading the whole thing first. It is hysterical if you doit right!Get a blank piece of paper, draw a picture of a whole pig on it, notjust the head, just a basic drawing though, don't spend too long on it.

DRAW THE PIG BEFORE YOU GO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THE TEST WILL NOT WORK!!NO CHEATING,DRAW THE PIG FIRSTHAVE YOU DONE THE DRAWING?

IF NOT, DO IT NOWIT IS REALLY FUNNY IF YOU DO IT RIGHT!DO IT NA SABI EH!!

OK, NOW TO THE INTERESTING STUFF.........

The pig serves as a useful test of the personality traits of the drawer.If the pig is drawn to the top of the paper, you are positive andoptimistic.
Toward the middle, you are realistic.
Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency to behavenegatively.
Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates(birthdays, etc.)
Facing right, you are innovative and active, but don't have a strongsense of family, nor do you always remember dates.
Facing front (looking at you), you are direct, enjoy playing devil'sadvocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.With lots of details, you are analytical, cautious, and distrustful.With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little fordetails and are a risk taker.
With less than 4 legs showing, you are insecure or are living through aperiod of major change.
With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.If you have drawn more than 4 legs, you are stupid.The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. The biggerthe better.
The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life, and onceagain the longer, the better.
Ok, who didn't draw a tail? BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

i'm back!

2006-05-04T15:52:00.000+08:00

it's been 2weeks or so from my manila vacation... and i'm back.. i was thinking of making this blog an all-bisaya blog but will try.. hehehe..

the vacation started with a delay in flight sked! whew.. instead of a 1:45pm flight we boarded at 4pm!!! the funny part was, i was with rajiv and to make sure we don't do any scenes like before (nahimatay hintawon si manong) we decided to take bonamine (nakz!)... we took it at exaclty 12nn (expecting to board at 1pm ~ take 1 hour before byahe daw eh) after the *gulp* came the announcement that our flight was delayed bwahihihihihi!!!! duh!

so we ended up laughing our hearts out coz by then (4pm) wala na hintawon ang epekto sa tambal. and at last we boarded.. whew

arrived at around 6 or 7pm.. with no one to fetch us.. we courageously took a cab (safe man kay airport cab man, safe lagi pero 670 man pud ang gibayran whew!) pero hintawon wala man katuod ang driver! maayo na lang kay naay exact instructions akong kuya.. whew!

anyways gikapoy na ko ug type.. mag post na lang ko ug pic next time..

FooD hehehe

2006-04-16T20:28:00.000+08:00

Will be posting more pix soon.. for now, eto na lang muna..

Hmm.. twas my birthday yesterday.. but I'm going to talk about that on my next post..

Last April 13th was A-Mah's Death Anniversary... I did the cooking.. hehehe... here's how they looked...

..... ThE PaNgA EsPeSyAL

.... ThE SmOkEd BaNgUs

.... My BbQ ChIcKeN yum yum!

UpDaTeS!

2006-04-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

April is here!

Events ~ Events ~ Events.....

On top are pix from Loleng's Spring Resort Eden, Hmm... March 16th ata.. when my cousin Therese "Shobe" celebrated her 18th Debut.. Well, we were late.. hahaha.. the birtday girl was already in the pool ata this time..

Above are pix from Seagull.... another celebration of Shobe's debut.. grabe noh? hehehehe... grabe gyud ang hangin lupad tanan among buhok... too windy that day... whew...

On top is Rajiv's simple yet TASTY 21st Birthday... we had lotsa fresh fish tonight... as in! nothing compares to this year's food... whew.... nagdala si tita fely from the province man gud.. as in juicy and fresh gyud.. haha makabuang..

PiX pIx PiX pIx PiX pIx PiX pIx PiX pIx PiX pIx PiX pIx PiX pIx PiX pIx PiX

ME, as of April 2006!

My 26th Year is Fast Approaching... OH no NO no!!!!!

24/7 Unlimited ~ SUN!

2006-03-30T23:17:00.000+08:00

Been thru a lot of conversations to customer services reps. excuse the language but DUH! Majority of them aren't really there for helping but most are just there for listing damn reports to be submitted to God knows who!

It all started when I started using my SUN sim once again, at first there were no problems with the connections and stuff, and since I am already used to some hours where one can't really connect due to a clog in the network so didn't really piss me off...

but several weeks ago there was something different. I'd hear 3-4 beeps then after that, I can no longer connect, and my txt messages don't reach the reciever. I asked the customer rep about this but all they can say is "don't worry maam, I'll make a report and forward it to our tech staff. But so far maam, nothing is wrong with the system as indicated here in our computer". I just shrugged it off as some unexplainable network stuff. This continued for several weeks, I could not connect from 6pm til 12midnight, but when 12 midnight strikes, I can connect unbelievably fast.

Last Tuesday was definitely not my day. Didn't use it in the morning, only called on it at around 3pm til around 5pm. Afterwhich, I could no longer txt nor call (I thought it was it's old routine) but then 12midnight came, nothing.... 1am.. still nothing.... 2am DAMN! THIS ISN'T RIGHT! so we slept.. 8am the next day, I thought everything would be well.. I tried but still nothing, so I called in the customer rep again.. In a bossy tone she said "The main reason of your problem maam is because your number was blocked due to high usage" When asked what high usage meant... her answer was pure and simple "sorry maam we don't really know how the system detects that, all we can say is that kung pwede lang po, use the line normally"... hmm.. now half-pissed I politely asked her what 'normal usage meant', then she said "normal maam, ung average usage lang".. I thought she was brain dead or something so I clearly asked 'miss, what for you is normal use? how many mins or hours?' ... she said "basta normal maam"

hmm... ok then, she is stupid nothing I can do about that. It's funny coz the process was called UNLIMITED CALL AND TXT 24/7... how the hell would that be called as such if it had limits?!?!?! I was pissed so I ended the call.

After a while, I decided to ask once again on the matter. The next customer service rep was a little bit nicer. When asked about how to unblock a number, she told me to reload another call unlimited 24/7 card. But then a thought came over me, I reloaded that number just last Monday afternoon, how could it be that I was already a high user? it was just a mere 4hours or less since I didn't get to use it Tuesday after 5pm!?

Hay hay, I guess that's what you call MARKETING... they say it's UNLIMITED but then it has limit, and the damned companies can't explain their guidelines.. hay.. I guess nothing beats the old RELIABLE COMPANIES such as GLOBE and SMART... well GLOBE lang actually. hehe..

SUN SUCKS........... SERVICE SUCKS.............. SYSTEM SUCKS............. They shouldn't be allowed posting UNLIMITED promises if they can't comply.

Movie Review : Pride and Prejudice

2006-03-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

Downloaded this from somewhere, read the book around college.. It was a good movie, it depicted my imagination and more about the characters.. though they talk quite fast (Plus English slang pa!) so medyo hirap.. but overall rating for me is good.

Touched my heart when Darcy confessed his feelings to Elizabeth. Kinda like my ideal, I wanted strong (a little proud? hehe) men. Don't like the flimsy, overly open type.

I'm too emotional, aren't I? hehe.. maybe due to lotsa books I've read on the matter. But honestly, I'm thinking that love isn't worth it.. It rarely comes knocking at my door and majority don't stay.. and it is I who should 'understand' and 'let go'. Seems I'm not really made to be loved by those outside my family.

Ahh too tired of the repititious hurt.. I say ignore the feeling. Better it not be known than be known and only hurt like human flesh being poked and slowly screwed in by a rusty screwdriver ~ the pain is intolerable, the heart screams for mercy.. but the torturer just goes on and on, ignoring the plea and laughing at the other's weakness.

Alas, I have eaten my words before.. I promised that when love comes I'd express it no matter what, but now I realize, some things are better left unsaid.

Happy are those who are loved, for many wish it but few enjoy it.

2006-03-22T22:13:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh.. just realized nag major drama na man pud diay ko last post! whew!!!...

Last Saturday actually, I was bvery busy with work, my ceos came over, settled some disputes among the leaders (kami nakz) in Davao, then there was a wealth management seminar in Royal Mandaya Hotel to which one of our product providers where host, so I was there, then followed by some trainings. All the while, I was smiling as if nothing happened but deep inside my heart was being torn. nakz

Anyways, it's funny isn't it? almost all the blogs I have read and majority of the conversations made, and a lot of forums and even websites cater to one common topic.. LOVE.. isn't it endless? many are searching for love, others are tired of love, still others want to let go of love! I'm even guessing 90% of my blog is all about the stuff.... ewww... im sooo.... HUMAN! hahahhaa

will recap next time coz im sooo sleepy na.. anyways there was this email being circulated by my friends.. it's funny.. read it.. it's all about LOVE...

--------------------------------- e m a i l --------------------------------------

imagine that you go out one night to a really nice bar with your friends and have a few cocktails.

They taste good, so you have a few more and then the DJ puts on 'I Will Survive,' so you're off on the dance floor.
After an hour or so, when 'Heart of Glass' has finished, and more modern music comes on , you come back to the group for a rest and another cocktail or three .
You notice a group of men standing nearby and one of them is looking at you. You look back at him and there is tangible chemistry between the two of you.
y OU buy him a drink.

He likes a woman who is not afraid to buy a man a drink. He approaches you to chat and you get on really well.

When the time seems perfect for both of you, he leans over and kisses you.

You have never been kissed like this before, an electric kiss and a tingle shudders through your entire body and you don't want it to stop.

"I don't usually do this sort of thing," you hear yourself saying, "but I've never felt like this before.

Do you want to come back to my place?"

You wake up the next morning, and you roll out of bed, half-asleep , to go to the toilet , last night's memories slightly blurred .

You look at yourself in the mirror, make an "urgh" sound. .

As you're sitting there, vivid flashes of what would seem like a marathon sex session flicker back into your head and you remember that you fell in love last night .

With a smile on your face , you stand up and walk back to the bedroom

and see...

2006-03-19T06:50:00.000+08:00

Peopl
fall
inlove

not
knowing
WHY or HOW

it's so
special.

a feeling
that
doesn't
require

much
answers..

U just
love

no matter
how stupid
u become....

I let go of someone I love yesterday, after a long while. My mind told me it's time to do so, but my heart is crying little sobs as it slowly beats wishing the beats would just stop and all the pain would simply end.

It's tough, I know people would say 'it's the right thing to do' but how come I feel so wrong?

but no, I will not talk about it.

I'll just ignore, lock it up, until the thought just clears away.

That's what I'm goin to do.

I'll not cry, I've become numb.

I will not find someone better. My heart has died over and over again. Every time I let go of someone, my heart dies it's little deaths.

Now, there's nothing else to do but simply build a wall.

Recap: the whole week

2006-03-16T20:27:00.000+08:00

Today is Araw ng Davao.. It's raining pretty hard since the wee hours in the morning til this moment. A very cold day for all, though it's raining, the programs are still on.. I didn't go out though, it's too wet! hehehe.. instead I stayed home and slept! hahaha..

Yesterday, I renewed my passport, took us a few hours (1hour 25mins. to be exact). It wasn't too long as I expected, and there were a lot of people, when we went in they were still in 219.. I was number 334! I'll be getting the renewed passport next week. It's funny 'coz if you choose 1 week you pay P500.. if you choose 2-3 days it's P700 and 1 day mga around hmmm... 1,000 ++.. I was thinking, if it could be possibly done in 1 day, then why settle for longer periods?? ah, I guess it's all for the money. chiching! hehe.. well well.. that's the 3rd world for you. Another was, 3years ago, we opted to get passports by travel agency, they charged P1,000 each, though I forgot how many days that was, hmm... if it were for a day so meaning they got P300 each.. we are around 6 in the family.. damn that's P1,200 hehe.. well so this year we opted to do it, di naman pala ganun ka -grabe ang processing.. sus!

Two days ago, received news that my beloved brother just passed his revalida! whew... This may mean soon we'll be having another M.D. in the family.. it's great! my dad's dream is coming true :) ... graduation will be on the 29th of April.. it's been almost 2years since I last saw my ahiya.. we miss him. :)

Last Monday, I restarted my Gym efforts.. hahaha.. though it's difficult to be back to disciplined, I'm determined to do so this time... Though I wasn't able to go to gym today due to rain, I hope I can tomorrow, and oh by the way, I'll be starting basics of boxing per advice by the trainor.. He says I'm good with my lower body for cardio, and what I need is cardio for my upper body, boxing would be great! Hope I can start tomorrow.

And Oh I think I forgot, for Shanghai, dad gave me my Jade Bracelet, the type you wear for life, no taking off..... hay of course, It took me pains to get it on in the first place! hahaha

Vietnamese Cuisine

2006-03-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

Ate at a Vietnamese retaurant tonight with my parents and their friends. Hmm.. great food though I don't know what will happen tomorrow.. hahaha.. got a lot of herbs inside me.. hahaha.. but I specially like the 'roll' as they call it, parang lumpia but with 'rice paper' then you put in cabbage, pork meat (na parang cooked tocino but not sweet), green mango strips, cucumber strips, onion leaf strips, mint and oregano.. then roll mo then.. dip in a special sauce na parang may peanut.. hmm .. yum yum.. hehe... sayang nga lang di ko naisipang picturan.. hehe.. then there was green curry (as in green hahaha hindi ung yellowish, it's reall green), then ung parang pancit na flat mixed with several vegies, sarap din.. and marami pa.. I just noticed they're more into the spicy lineage of food tapos yung puro veggie stuff, and food na dami ekk ekk hehhee.. but it was fun!

Funny coz several months before, I was insisting that we (family) should try vietnamese.. Well, circumstance did me a favor tonight. hahaha..

JoHaRi WiNdOw...

2006-03-04T23:21:00.000+08:00

What can u say about me...

answer this : http://kevan.org/johari?name=laydee

what others say about me...

view this : http://kevan.org/johari?view=laydee

Go Ahead... make urs.. i'll gladly share my thoughts too..

hehe... it's fun..

Arena

(known to self and others)

mature

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, accepting, friendly, religious, self-conscious

Façade

(known only to self)

caring, confident, loving, trustworthy, witty

Unknown

(known to nobody)

adaptable, bold, brave, calm, cheerful, clever, complex, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, independent, ingenious, intelligent, introverted, kind, knowledgeable, logical, modest, nervous, observant, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, reflective, relaxed, responsive, searching, self-assertive, sensible, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, warm, wise

Dominant Traits

100% of people think that laydee is able
100% of people think that laydee is accepting
100% of people think that laydee is friendly
100% of people agree that laydee is mature
100% of people think that laydee is religious
100% of people think that laydee is self-conscious

All Percentages

able (100%) accepting (100%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (0%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (100%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (0%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (0%) mature (100%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (0%) religious (100%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (100%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (0%) warm (0%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 4.3.2006, using data from 1 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view laydee's full data.

2006-03-02T21:00:00.000+08:00

FrOm ThE bLoGgEr...

It's been a while since I've started this blog. Though this isn't one of those blogs people avidly visit, I'd like to thank those who have formed, in one way or another, part of this blog.

Would like to thank those who have commented on several stuff I posted. I'd also like to thank the visitors who have either mistakenly came to this spot or those who were curious enough to give this blog a shot.

haha.. it's so fun to make editorials pala noh? hehe never really had the chance to do so.. but oh yeah, I've ran out of words!

Today was a day like any other day I got. Slept late last night but due to my body clock, was able to wake-up at around 7am. The song Please be careful with my heart by Jose Mari Chan immediately became the LSS (Last Song Syndrom) in my head, funny 'coz I haven't heard that song for so long, kinda just popped in my head. And since I didn't really have scheduled appointment today and didn't really have to go out 'til afternoon, I decided to flip channels (routine usually starts with me being online though) came across an old film entitled SLIVER, starred by Stephen Baldwin and Sharon Stone. I never recalled ever watching this film and the plot somehow intrigued me. Stephen was a condo building owner who wired all the units so he could 'watch' each of his renters. Oh yeah, quite a WOW.. he could even watch people as they take showers and do some other stuff. hehe..

Later this afternoon, found myself realizing, there are a lot of people who are experiencing melancholic feelings. Several friends have confessed feeling this way and I was driven to think na maybe it's due to the usual rains all over the country or maybe due to problems and crisis all around. Then after the chit-chat, I found myself feeling the same, couples passing by caused me to long for hugs and love.

After all... we are all but human in this world. :)

2006-03-02T20:55:00.000+08:00

2006-02-27T03:14:00.000+08:00

Had the time of my life last saturday evening with my online buddies of 4 years! hehe.. it was fun!

~ ayan lighter tone.. hahahaha

blabbering fool...

2006-02-24T23:27:00.000+08:00

The trouble with being so understanding is that you see others living their lives and experiencing love, while you are left heartbroken and lonely.

Imagine a scenario when the boy leaves the girl for someone else.. but because they both 'loved' the friendship so much, decides to take their hearts off and put it in the trash and make-believe that friendship could really last. Then, the boy talks about his present love, while the girl silently hurts and forces herself to smile and be happy that the boy had finally found someone whom he loves so much.

Yeah, I know, the girl is too naive and stupid to let go.. the boy is taking advantage and is somewhat 'happy' coz he gets both girls he wanted.

Let's look at it in another picture.. imagine you are the girl, and all your life you've been empty. You long for someone to finally fill in the emptiness in your heart. You long for someone who could somehow allow you to realize what love is. All your life you've been trapped into feeling inferior coz all the other girls have someone special. Then an imperfect boy arrives and he allowed you to be yourself, allowed you to treat him as a crash-test-dummy.. to love him beyond his imperfection. Finally here's someone who was loving enough to free you of your insecurities and helped you see yourself more clearly.

Then a slight twist of fate, his imperfection clouded over him, drawing him near to temptation and alas.. he did choose the other over you..

Heart shattered, hope erased.. you feel lost.. like a dream that suddenly became a nightmare.. you search for that love.. somehow you feel it still exists.. you are afraid that if ever you let go, the love would surely die.

Now, would you judge the girl by her actions.. on how stupid she was falling for the boy in the first place when he is obviously a two-timing-good-for-nothing? Would you blame the boy for finding someone who made his heart beat?

Lost.

Hurt.

I have no answers, I only wish that I be numb.

Neglected...

2006-02-22T01:03:00.000+08:00

"So, this is how being neglected feels like" My blogspot should say.. hehe

Been busy the whole time.. want to post but, hmm.. there hardly is time for me to sit and collect my thoughts.. I'll soon do this..
........... for now, my Blog have to wait!

Glitters of Gold and Silver -- Davao

2006-01-20T07:54:00.000+08:00

cloudy and raining.. the lights beneath the clouds where like glittering sands like gold and silver dusts.. as I gaze far beyond the horizon of Davao the view was breathtaking ~ nothing can beat the highlight of tonight!

It was a hs bud of dad's birthday (one of the ex seminarians ~ he was now a priest) and we went to my favorite spot in Davao ~ Eden.. the cool air relaxed my senses and the serenity my soul.

Then after a few hours just sitting there with my brothers talking about the past horrific movies specially those of the 10 plagues and the angel of death that wiped Egypt of her first-born.. sent shivers in my little brother's spine.. hehe.. The spectacular view beneath us (coz Eden is way up the mountain) and last night was cooler than usual, brought us clinging our warm jackets and sitting together to keep warm.. Fireworks started... the type you see in Disneylands.. only smaller of course.. some said it was from another city.. others say maybe it was a show for the ATF (ASEAN TOURISM FORUM) which is being conducted here in Davao for several days.

All I can say is.. the night was perfect.. good food, great sound system, bonding for friends plus the view is simply awesome ~ Davao at it's best!

WhaT DoNuT ArE YoU!?

2006-01-18T15:14:00.000+08:00

You Are a Glazed Donut

Okay, you know that you're plain - and you're cool with that.
You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness.
Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone dig you.
And in a pinch, you'll probably get eaten.

What Donut Are You?

The G-Clan

2006-01-13T22:14:00.000+08:00

The G-Clan

December 20, 2005 and January 1, 2006

Photos....

2006-01-13T21:44:00.000+08:00

With Rajiv (my brother) last January 1, 2006 at our G-Clan's Family Home....

Red na red.. hehehe...

excuse the pimples........

Rajiv with Mommy.... still at our Family Home

..... we are 3 but are greatly missing 1... hehe..

AYA ULI NA!!!! hehehe...

Tadaaa.... hehehe... moi with Daddy.... =)

... again, excuse the pimple

HaPpY NeW YeAr!!!
2 0 0 6

Honey Regimen

2006-01-05T21:41:00.000+08:00

Hi! 2006!

Wala lang.. just trying out this Honey Regimen.. there was a lot of honey left in the fridge after the new year after I decided not to use honey for my ham syrup .. instead I used good ol' beer, pineapple juice and brown sugar mixture...

... so since there were a lot of left overs *wink* one medium plastic container of honey that is *wink* *wink* hehehe.. thought of using it as beauty regimen..

Just finished applying and will try to let it stay for a few more minutes.. I feel too sweet already (and I do mean SWEET!)

YeAr EnD RePoRt... ThE YeAr ThaT WaS.. 2005

2006-01-02T20:20:00.000+08:00

As I bid my 2005 goodbye.. there are several things I want to remember that surely made me a year older.. :)

A lot of people came into my life this year, as a matter of fact, a lot has even touched my heart and sad to say broke it too. Yeah I could say it was a sad year for me (emotionally). After 3years that someone whom I cherished so much had the courage to talk to me about it ~ but later quit by saying "I can't give you the life you deserve".. This year I got my first bf but he too replaced me with someone else.. Married men came my way but I'm glad I stood my ground and reminded them it's all not worth it.

Met my davao tsinoy friends this year forming new-found friends and proof that friends found in the internet could be real too. :)

Ah.. this year was also my year of great sickness.. had severe bleeding to the point of almost needing blood transfusion (was white as paper na daw).. had my breast cyst removed but glad to say the result of the biopsy test turned out negative for cancer.. whew close call.

Started gym this year in the hope of regulating my menses after the pills didn't work.. I'm into sports now.. playing badminton with family every weekends for around 1-3hours max.. fitted into old clothes during my college years! haha.. whew.. even fitted my pants in highschool.. hehehe

As I close the year and welcome the new.. all I can say is I'm glad to have gone thru all of those.. and hopefully this year, I may be more productive and emotionally free from confusion.. I deserve a break .. hehe..

NEW YEAR's RESOLUTION : Will think twice bago aamin ng feelings.. if possible I will stop allowing people to hurt me.. mas better they don't know how I feel for them than to allow them to hurt me again.

~~ got a lot of pix to post soon. but due to some reasons, di ko pa nakukuha ung pix sa cousin ko.. i'll try to post them ASAP. ~~

Moi

2005-12-27T23:43:00.000+08:00

Just Before New Year!!!

Sino Nga Ba?!

2005-12-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

sino ba ang mas mahalaga sa'yo...

ang taong mahal mo
o ang taong gusto mong mahalin???

ang taong kasama mo buong araw
o ang taong iniisip mo bago matapos ang araw???

sya bang kasa-kasama mo sa lahat ng ginagawa mo
o siyang dahilan ng lahat ng galaw at ginagawa mo???

sino ba ang mas mahalaga...
yung taong gusto mong makasama habang buhay
o yung taong hindi mo makita ang habang buhay pag
wla sya???

sino ang mas matimbang
yung taong pag kasama mo'y parang kay bilis ng oras
o yung taong tuwing iniisip moy parang kay bagal
ng oras???

ano ang susundin...
ang dinidikta mo sa puso mo o ang dinidikta ng
puso mo sa'yo???

sya ba ung laging pumapasok sa isip mo
o sya ung laging laman ng panaginip mo???

sino nga ba... ang taong nagpaluha sa'yo
o ang taong nagpunas sa minsang pagluha mo???

sino sa kanila... ang nagpapatawa sa'yo
o ang taong dahilan ng lahat ng iyong emosyon???

sino nga ba ang pipiliin mo???

ANG TAONG MULING NAGBUKAS NG PUSO MO...
O ANG TAONG MATAGAL NG NANDOON???

2005-12-24T07:32:00.000+08:00

At last! I've completed the 9days simbang gabi for the nth year.. hehehe.. but it feels good.. :)

was thinking of making my year-end blog report.. nakz.. but I'm still pondering what happy things had happened this year..

together with that we had an amazing clan reunion last Dec. 20th.. my cuzin has the pix and I'm waiting for him to send them to me pa..

post later..

HaPpY HoLiDaYs!!!

wishful thinking super..

2005-12-19T06:48:00.000+08:00

I found the song I want to walk the isle with.. hehe... Canon in D by Pachelbel.. I know di na ako original nyan but there's the kind of happiness and love I feel whenever I hear the song.. and I'll be more than proud to walk with my dad in my hand in that song.. as he walks me to the isle, my groom awaits lovingly ~ to be my husband and partner ~ forever.

nakz! hahahaha...

I found the kind of wedding ring I'd want to wear forever 2years ago.
I found the church I wanted to get married in last year.
I found the song I want to be played this year.
Maybe next year I'll finally meet the one for me.

=(

2005-12-14T20:33:00.000+08:00

Heaven Knows
Rick Price

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes.
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know.
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Chorus:
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine

But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
(Repeat Chorus except last line)
Bridge:
'Coz heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreamin',
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?
(Repeat Chorus)
Heaven knows... heaven knows.

---------------------------------------------------

Playing games with my heart has always been my mistake.
Hiding my real self from the world I can't take.
Each broken heart has been a cycle in this life.
I hope someday I'd break.

It's not easy for me to love.
It's difficult for me to open my heart.
Yet everytime I do.
It always breaks apart.

Quitting on love isn't my greatest strength.
Yet it's so easy for the others to quit on me.
It's painful and so real..
I can never be part of someone's heart.

rumblings

2005-12-14T09:15:00.000+08:00

I got so many questions in my mind today.. simple ones and may even be selfish.

I'm 25.. going 26 soon.. and I guess I'm near the crossroads of my life (or even in it, just didn't know) and yet I couldn't really say I've done a single great thing for the last few years or so.

Now I begin to ask.. Why am I here? What's the sense of my life and where am I going?

There are so many changes in my life, for one thing I noticed that the once unblemished face of mine now has a dark eyebag almost every single day from furiously crying the night before. Am I going to be like this for all eternity? There must be something more.

I have given up a love that felt so real coz the other doesn't think it was real (or maybe di talaga pala totoo un in the first place).. ah yeah I know, I should get over it.. but hey, I'm human, I can't just throw these things away just like an old rug.

I'm not someone who crosses the likes of love everyday, I'm one of the unfortunate few who waited for a long time to be given a chance to be in love.. and yet time hasn't allowed me to feel it longer.. and I had to let go immediately. Hay indeed life is unfair.

I envy people and couples passing by.. I envy people saying "ah 5years na kami!" and those saying "we'll be getting married na".. It's not because I want to get married na, but simply envying them for they have someone there beside them who loves them effortlessly.

I'd be lying if I'd say I dont need those.. I do need love in my life, coz it keeps me happy. But if the architect of this life doesn't want me to be with love, I'm helplessly at his mercy and there's nothing I can do about it.

So, the only source of joy that's left of me is my desire to go for simbang gabi starting sa 16th.. I don't know why, but I badly want to go for simbang gabi na. :) funny noh?

Mother and Child

2005-12-11T08:37:00.000+08:00

Cyst Excision....

2005-12-09T16:16:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Mama Mary's Birthday... and the day I had my cyst excision.. yeah that's right! but it's ok.. this wasn't the first time I got operated on... remember the eye operation?? may cyst din un .. hehehe..

you can then call me.. 'Cyst Factory'... dad performed the task and funny but all the while I was thinking "why the hell did those other girls cry during the operation... not a single pain have I felt!" Maybe it's because it was my Dad operating me.. but I can quite recall I didn't lose my wits during my eye operation either.. maybe I'm just strong.. hahaha...

But the end is not over yet... sa 19th pa ang result if it's cancerous or not.. whew! and if it's cancerous (i'm surely hoping not) titignan how much it has already spread.. if so, my whole boob will be taken off!!! oh my gosh!

Ha! imagine this being done to someone who hasn't even really tried having a bf before.. and will never ever get to be married... wuhuhuhu...

But hey! it's not the end of the world.. and I feel deep in my gut na it's not cancer.. :) I SURE HOPE SO!

sayang di ko nakunan ng pic... was tooo sleepy eh.. hahaha.. wala can available.. nakalimutan!

Cool Christmas House

2005-12-02T07:54:00.000+08:00

this is cool.. watch the video HERE

What Can't Kill You Can Make You Stronger

2005-11-24T22:46:00.000+08:00

What Can't Kill You.... Can Make You Stronger!

2005-11-18T23:39:00.000+08:00

Today I realize he's gone and I can't do anything about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what people might think as of the moment, majority would say "what?! you're still at it after months?" "tanga tanga mo naman.. tagal mong ma-over!" "It's your fault, iniisip mo kasi always" blah blah blah... but hey, I did not wish for this to happen, neither did I intend for it to linger on for a long time.

It is not easy to find a love, but it's more difficult to lose a love. All day today, I was thinking of WHY?!.. went to a Harry Potter movie with my family but thoughts kept coming in my mind.. sa car pa lang I was blaming myself and even my brothers for what was happening to me (It's my fault I am far, it's my brother's fault kung di lang sana nila pinagpalit mga gf nila!, it's my grandfather's fault if he hadn't cheated!).. I'm so horrid, blaming others for the things that are happening to me. But then, I realized how good the Lord had been to me. As I was in the Thanksgiving celebration of my tito totoy, I realized I was not alone.. I'm part of a much more bigger family and it's a family na di basta basta nakaka-pasok ang iba.. I was part of a clan, my clan. Laughing and sharing funny moments and stories.. there was this inner bond na strangers would surely not understand.. and I'm part of it!

And best of all.. this exclusivity has given me the right to demand on who I am going to make part of it! haha... it's his loss he didn't see me as someone he can spend his life with, and I know I got all the qualities a man would ever want for a wife, mother, and partner. It's his fault he's only too particular about the physical presence for he has let go of someone as me. nakz..

I'm not praying for bad things to happen to him.. I truly pray every night that he be blessed more and I don't wish for anything else but for him to have a very good life, even if I'm not part of it.

It's just siguro that, I'm tired of pouring my love to people who don't deserve that kind of love. I'm tired of hurting and pain. I'm tired of all the tiring effort of getting to know someone, letting that someone get into my life, falling inlove for that someone, then in the end letting go 'coz he found another.

My heart is definitely tired and I don't care anymore if I would have that someone in my life, I don't care anymore if I'm going to grow old alone. It doesn't matter to me anymore for maybe life isn't supposed to end the way I would want it to be. Nothing in life is perfect, and I have to realize that someday.. I got this fairy-tale thinking kasi that I would meet that someone and he would be with me till I grow old.. and I would never grow old alone and with no one to talk to (as what my fear in life is).. But I guess I would be alone after-all.. but who cares. There's nothing I can do about it.

Hay, kinda depressing ain't it? Well.. as a friend sent me sa txt..

Why are cupids
Baby Angels?

that is
to remind
us
that...

LOVE
NEVER
GROWS
OLD!

Why is
cupid's arrow
directed to
the heart?

that is
to remind
us
that....

TRUE LOVE HURTS!

Only Time Can Heal A Broken Heart

2005-11-18T05:47:00.000+08:00

There have been a lot of things happening lately but I thought it's best if I don't share it thru my blog na lang.

I've noticed the blog I'm keeping is too emotional.. seems like it's projects my 'kadramahan' and I'm sure majority of the people who visit this blog would think that I'm way way over my head right now.. hahayy..

But same parin lahat.. nothing has changed.. I'm still sore to the heart and Only Time can heal a broken heart.

Don't want to talk about it.. just updating this blog for future use..

What?! SSS lang?!?!

2005-11-10T20:45:00.000+08:00

A funny but understandably innocent situation occured to be last Saturday that truly made me think a lot.... as in A LOT..

I was approaching the elevator on our 14th floor office at Landco when suddenly a bunch of people from the other office was also on their way.. since the building was considered as a 'smart building' hehe.. smart daw coz there aren't any buttons inside the elevator.. what you do is you press the desired floor you'd like to go to on the outside then the elevator screen shows you which door you are assigned, which then would take you to your desired floor.. hayy haba!

Anyways Elevator C is the dreaded door since it's always stuck, rarely is running properly plus there are fears of being stranded because of it's MOODS hehehe.. as we call it.

Now to make the long story short.. we were assigned to elevator C and one could hear shrieks and ayyy's of some people knowing we would be using the dreaded elevator.. plus there were qualms of death! hehee.. remarks of "yoko pa mamatay!!!" "I'm too young to diee!!!" hehhee...

But what shocked me to death was the comment made inside the elevator...

someone said... (translated into taglish) "Sus! why worry?! as long as may SSS na tayo, ok na yan lahat!"

I was like.. FROZEN.. I stared at the guy and was soo shocked that no one said anything in retoration but even affirmed!!!!

Oh come on! SSS?!?! the company on the average as of the moment gives 2,000 pesos to the elderly as their benefit for the long years before! so imagine how much we would get in the near future?!?!?! YEAH it does help a little .. but hey?!?! would we allow ourselves that little in the future after working our butts off?!?!?!

Oh MY GOSH!... amidst the UNIVERSITY degrees coming about with educational backgrounds of Flying colours.. I must say.. so many are STILL ILLITERATE!

hmm.. I don't blame them... but what bugs me is the thought that these Illiterates act as if they know everything and won't even bother to listen to those like us (me) who try to educate them as what I do in my company.

Sheeze... if they only knew

... hay for those who didn't get a thing on why I was so shocked.. for goodness sakes! ask me why before it's too late.

Fun Early Day!

2005-11-04T07:33:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 5:00am today.. got into my gym clothes and started the day fresh by playing sport sa parking space ng mall.. hehe.. with brothers, cuzins, titas and titos.. this has been the usual day for the last week and I feel great!

What Kind of a Seducer Are You?

2005-11-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

Your Seduction Style: Prized Object

The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get.
You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them.
The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase.

You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away.
You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance.
Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't!

You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors.
Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor.
You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

All I can say is..... OH REALLY NOW! Mali Ata?!?!?!?!??? hahhahaha... Got this from a thread sa tsinoy, was curious and tried it.. hmm.. well.. tama talaga sila, kaya nga ONLINE TEST eh.. kasi pang ONLINE RESULT lang din.. hahahaha.. whew..

Traditions..

2005-11-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

Today our clan celebrated one of the traditions we usually have every year.. All Souls Day.. it's a night filled with fun and lots of food.. hehehe.. the way we usually celebrate things -- with lotsa food! hahaha.. and laughter too..

We just got home after arriving there at around 6:30pm after an hour of 'traffic' (that's not very usual in Davao but IT IS usual pag ganitong holiday).. stayed there, had some prayers and of course a lot of food..again.. hehe.. plus big plans for the clan or simply showing off some skills in entertainment and even ghost stories.. oooohh spooky..

It's fun to have these 'traditions' along, many people take these forgranted and majority would rather spend these occassion with their friends but for US we'd rather spend it with the people who define us -- our family. I was thinking kanina na I bet our ancestors would be damn proud of us.. hehe.. we simply can have clean fun just around each other, no fancy stuff, no special effects.. just us and our stories to tell..

I was even thinking that a lot would love to be in our clan.. as proven by some people who frequent our gathering, people we consider family.. :) this kinda rejuvinated my morale.. nakz.. motivating me to realize, this family/clan is something to be proud of.. :) and I should be proud i'm part of it.. :)

2005-10-31T21:19:00.000+08:00

i, me, and myself

Thinking...

2005-10-30T21:25:00.000+08:00

Routines... never really got them until recently. Been accustomed most of the time for 'surprise attacks' and other unplanned situations but truly this time, I need them.

Just talked to an online friend, sought advice about what to do - actually sought someone to just talk to. I know there are a lot of advices I can get from people I know, but this time I need someone who knows how to listen.. He does.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you, I do not give as the world give, do not be afraid do not let your heart be troubled - John 14:27

He reminded me of the above passage, and it brought me some comfort. Gosh, I truly can't live without talking to someone.. hahay.. my greatest weakness in life.

Anyways, he's right, it's my decision.. No matter what advices people would give, it's up to me to decide what's best for me.. if only my heart cooperates.

Pero tama.. it's not time for loving no more.. martrydom has it's place in luneta.. sa firing squad.

Hay I hope my newfound routine works.. and I'm not going to die trying.. hehe..

I just hope things would be ok soon.. if this heart doesn't deserve love I just hope it'll settle for contentment.